funny travel es confiable

134 Funny Travel Quotes That Will Make You Laugh 2024

Sharing is caring!

Looking for a laugh? Check out this bumper collection of the funniest and most relatable travel quotes out there.

Designed to put a smile on your face and inspire your next travel adventure, these funny travel quotes will banish boredom and keep you entertained whilst you wait for your next trip to roll around. They are created to be shared, so make sure you send your favorite ones onto your friends!

Fun Quotes About Traveling When You’re Broke

• Stuck somewhere between “I need to save” and “you only live once”. 
• Friend: Let’s go to Bora Bora. Me: Man, I wanna go, but I’m pora pora.
• My favorite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays.
• When you’re trying to save money for a house, but end up with a one-way ticket to some tropical island.
• If traveling was free, BYE!

Funny Quotes about Travel

• I need a reasonably paid job. Something like $2000 an hour. Nothing too wild…
• Me: “I want to travel more”, the bank account: “Like, to the park?”
• Me before vacation: “I’m going to be responsible with my money. This is a low budget trip. I’m gonna stay in a hostel and everything.”Me on vacation: *orders fancy drinks, rides a jetski, goes skydiving, buys souvenirs for the uncle’s new girlfriend and adopts an alpaca.*
• I wish that road trips could pay my bills.

Funny Travel Instagram Captions

• At the end of the day…I’d rather like to have a lot of stories to tell, than a full bank account.
• I wish I was a postcard. For under $2 you can travel the world to any location in the world. 
• Do you ever stress about money and then accidentally book another flight?
• I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance. 
• Backpacking is money spent on Education.
• Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new year on a clean slate.

Funny Captions on Travel For When You’re At Work

• How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel.
• I love when people say “just quit your job and travel.” Taking an Uber from the bar to my home is the only travel I can afford. 
• Go to work. Open computer. Scroll for plane tickets for 6 hours. Close computer. Go home.
• I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!

Funny Holiday Quotes

• Work tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.
• Yeah, working is great…but have you tried travelling. 
• There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.
• Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito. 
• Ironing boards are surfboards that gave up their dreams and got a boring job. Don’t be an ironing board.

Funny Captions for Trip with Friends

• Life is short. Call in sick and book that last minute flight. 
• I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere.
• I googled my symptoms. Turns out I just needed to go on a vacay.
• I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach.

Travel Quotes About Funny But True Life Priorities

• Everyone is pregnant, engaged or getting married. I just wanna lose weight and travel.
• Forget champagne and caviar – Taste the world instead
• I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine
• I just want to travel the world, overspend at IKEA and drink coffee while cuddling puppies.
• Friend 1: I’m getting a house. Friend 2: I’m having a baby. Friend 3: I’m getting married Me: I’m headed to the airport. 

Holiday Quotes Funny

• People having babies…and I’m like: What country am I going to next?
• I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just want a paycheck to buy plane tickets.
• I don’t want a house. I just want to travel and pet a lot of dogs.
• Screw the caviar, I want to travel the world!
• Reality called, so I hung up.

Funny Quotes For Vacation Obsessed Globetrotters

• I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year.
• I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport.
• I’ve got 99 problems. But I’m on vacation so I’m ignoring them all!
• “You can’t buy happiness” Okay, explain travel then…
• Travsessed ( n .) An obsession with travel. When all you talk or think about is your past or future trips

Vacation Quotes Funny

• It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.
• Good things come to those, who book flights. 
• I heard an airplane passing overhead. I wished I was on it.
• Tripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any travel trips currently booked.
• You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy plane tickets, which is kind of the same thing.

Funny Quotes on Travel

• Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas and take your next trip in kilometers. – George Carlin
• A coconut a day keeps the doctor away.
• “Be strong”, I whisper to my WiFi signal
• Jetlag is for amateurs

Funny Vacation Captions You Can Relate To

• My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a dr*ggie, do they realize how lucky they are?
• A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is.
• Don’t speak the language. Already said 3 times “what”. Now just smile and nod and hope for the best.
• Me travelling. Person: “Un Cafe?” Me: “Oui” Person: “Sucre” Me: “Non” Person: “You speak very good french” Me: “Gracias”
• You’ve never felt true fear until your passport isn’t where you think you left it.

Travel Captions Funny

• Have you ever stopped to think, maybe travel is into me?
• Education is important. But travel is importanter!
• If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise.
• Me thinking about how many flights I can book for the cost of a new iPhone 14 Pro.
• I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m going. Are you coming with me?

Funny Quotes about Traveling

• Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland.
• That moment when you’re asked where you got something and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store.
• Travelling is like a chocolate box. Don’t matter what you get. All is good.

Funny Quotes On Travel And Love

• Girls don’t wait for the prince anymore, they pack and travel the world.
• All you need is  love  a passport.
• I followed my heart and it led me to the airport. 
• If you had to choose between true love or travelling the world, which country would you visit first? 
• All I want for Christmas is  you  forever vacation.

Travel Funny Quotes

• Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.
• Some people spend their life searching for “the one”. I’m just searching for the one good travel deal.
• I’ve got a crush on the world.
• I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel magazine!

Funny Travel Memes About The Life Goals Of A Traveller

• Birds literally just eat, travel, and make a mess on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you, but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.
• By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always travelling & comes to family events tipsy.
• High five if you don’t know what you’re doing with your life and just want to travel the world.
• I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories.
• Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas.

Short Funny Travel Quotes

• Be afraid. And do it anyway.
• Can we just skip to the part in my life where I travel the world?
• I just need a large coffee, a plane ticket and a bag full of cash. 
• Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you.
• I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon.
• Live a life you don’t need a vacation from.

Funny Quotes about Vacation

• Work hard. Travel harder.
• I need a holiday. And by “holiday” I mean I need to move away and find a job. On the beach. With cocktails. 
• The temptation to go to the airport, buy a one-way ticket, leave the country and live on my own has never been so real.
• Ladies, imagine this. It’s 15 years from now, and you have no kids. You’re the cool wine aunt that occasionally comes back to the country for a brief visit before leaving for another long exotic vacation. You have no commitments, and a suspicious amount of money.

Funny Vacation Quotes About Packing

• Packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip. Unpacks 3 months after coming home.
• Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.
• Me: triple checked packing list Also me: *forgets underwear, contact solution, and favorite chapstick*.
• Watches Netflix happily. Remembers you need to pack. Watches Netflix stressfully.

Funny Traveling Quotes

• Me: I’m not going to overpack this time. Inner me: I need this. I will need that as well. I need everything.
• Procrastapacking (n.) the act of thinking about packing a suitcase instead of actually doing it.
• Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.

Funny Adventure Quotes

• I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3 day vacation. Just in case.
• So, do I live out of a suitcase for the next month? Do I unpack just to repack again? Do I put my toothbrush back in the bathroom? I’m a visitor in my own house what the heck.
• My favorite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then find fun, flirty and exciting ways to not wear them while I’m away.

Funny Captions for Travel

• Normal life: Wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for 3-day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day so I’ll take 21 tops.
• I have been to almost as many places as my luggage.
• Me getting ready for vacation: manicure and pedicure, buy new Sephora products, spray tan, get waxed, get hair done, work out for a month, live off kale and veggies, try on 30K swimsuits and cry in dressing rooms. Husband getting ready for vacation: packs a bathing suit, flip-flops, a T-shirt, and calls it a day.

Funny Travel Captions About Airports

• Running to the gate is my cardio.
• Airports: the only place where drinking 8 AM is socially acceptable.
• The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost 17$.
• A passport holder sounds like a great idea until you get to the airport and have to remove it 4 billion times.

Funny Adventure Captions

• Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of dr*gs and an animal carcass as you walk through “nothing to declare” at the airport.
• I love those days when my only decision is window or aisle.
• “Be right back…” Just running away from Monday and going straight to the airport. 

Traveling Quotes That Are Funny

• If you look like your passport picture, you probably need a trip.
• Vacation calories don’t count, right?
• What’s that medical condition called where you constantly need to have a trip booked? 
• Should I book another flight to go abroad? Brain: no. Wallet: no. Mom: no. Dog: no. Universe: no…I think I’m gonna book the flight.
• You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.

Vacation Funny Quotes

• TIP: You won’t get the holiday blues if you just keep booking holidays.
• You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…
• In desperate need of a full body massage, 4 days of sleep and a ticket to the Bahamas.
• Can’t decide if I need a hug, an XL coffee, 6 ounces of vodka, or 2 months of travel.
• Travitude (n.) when you start to feel grumpy and sassy because you haven’t travelled in a while.
• My mom watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.

Funny Travel Captions for Instagram

121. “Jet lag is for amateurs.” — Dick Clark

122. “Worst thing about being a tourist, is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!” – Russell Baker

123. “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux

124. “I’m getting used to wearing flip flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”

Travel Funny Captions

125. “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” —  Al Gore

126. “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” – Steve Martin 

127. “People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” – Dagobert D. Runes

128. “Don’t worry about the world ending today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz

129. “Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by stark moments of terror.” – Al Boliska

130. “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them” – Mark Twain

131. “Drink heavily with the locals whenever possible.” – Anthony Bourdain

132. “I travel light but not at the same speed.” – Jarod Kintz

133. “A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.” – Chelsea Handler

134. “I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal.” – Jarod Kintz

That’s 134 Best Funny Trip Quotes

That’s a wrap on my hand picked selection of the best funny travel quote and witty puns out there. I hope they’ve entertained you and brought a smile to your face.

If so, I’d love to know which of these funny quotes about adventure were your favorites and if you know of any more I need to add to this list please comment below!

Remember, if you loved these funny travel quotes and want more inspiration and motivation check out the other travel captions and quotes I’ve compiled:

• Travel with Friends Quotes
• Solo Travel Quotes
• Summer Captions for Instagram
• London Quotes
• Road Trip Quotes
• Sunrise Captions for Instagram
• Mountain Quotes
• Ocean Instagram Captions
• Best Nature Quotes
• Beach Quotes
• Hiking Quotes
• Outdoor Quotes
• Quotes about Exploration
• Waterfall Quotes
• Sunset Captions for Instagram
• Miami Quotes
• California Instagram Captions
• Arizona Quotes
• If you prefer visuals check out my Pinterest Travel Quotes board

Save Travel Quotes Funny to Pinterest for Later

Similar posts, 87 most inspiring john muir quotes for nature lovers 2024.

John Muir is best known as the “Father of our National Parks” and is to thank for many of the USA’s…

70 Best Brooklyn Quotes and Brooklyn Bridge Captions for Instagram 2024

As one of the most vibrant neighbourhoods in New York, Brooklyn is one of the coolest places in the US….

120 Best 4th of July Quotes for Independence Day 2024

Fourth of July calls for your favorite Red, White and Blue outfit, hot dogs on the grill, and spectacular firework…

40 Best Oregon Quotes and Captions for the Beaver State 2024

Known for its stunning coastline and epic landscapes, the vibrant state of Oregon is one of the most beautiful places…

110 Best Colorado Quotes and Instagram Captions 2024

From the famous Rocky Mountains to the hip capital, Denver, the state of Colorado offers something for everyone.  So if…

37 Best New Zealand Quotes to Inspire Your Trip 2024

Known for its stunning landscapes and abundant sheep, the picturesque country of New Zealand is one of the most beautiful…

Travelling is ultimately a tool for growth. If you want to venture further, click this banner and take the leap 😉

• Meet the Team
• Work with Us
• Czech Republic
• Netherlands
• Switzerland
• Scandinavia
• Philippines
• South Korea
• New Zealand
• South Africa
• Budget Travel
• Work & Travel
• The Broke Backpacker Manifesto
• Travel Resources
• How to Travel on $10/day

Home » Budget Travel » 101 Funny Travel Quotes

101 Funny Travel Quotes

The one thing you should always pack when traveling is your sense of humor. Things may not always go as planned, and in the end, the difference between an inconvenience and an adventure is a question of attitude.

The pandemic had us all stranded at home for way too long, so let’s check out some fun travel quotes to help lift your spirits and give that old funny bone a good workout.

For a good giggle, or a funny travel quote to accompany your Insta post, we’ve hunted high and low to pull together this list of some of the funniest travel quotes for your enjoyment. Check them out!

Unlock Our GREATEST Travel Secrets!

Sign up for our newsletter and get the best travel tips delivered right to your inbox.

1. Work tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.

Our opening travel quote is a real gem. Don’t we all wish we could do this? If only it were that simple! In theory, it is, but the reality is that life happens to us all.

2. “You can’t buy happiness” Okay, explain travel then..

3. all you need is love and a passport..

The Broke Backpacker is supported by you . Clicking through our links may earn us a small affiliate commission, and that's what allows us to keep producing free content 🙂 Learn more .

4. A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is.

5. i googled my symptoms. turns out i just needed to go on a vacay..

6. Tripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any travel trips booked.

7. stuck somewhere between “i need to save” and “you only live once.”.

Boy, isn’t this the truth! The desire to throw caution to the wind is strong in many of us, but reality, however small and softly spoken, weighs in to keep us in check. On the one hand, the more you save, the more places you can go and the more luxuriously you can travel. But on the other, you can always figure it out as you go. Which one are you?

8. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy plane tickets – which is kind of the same thing.

9. a coconut a day keeps the doctor away..

10. Backpacking is money spent on education.

They say the best way to learn is to do, and what better way to do than to head off into the great unknown with only the essentials on your back? Backpacking is undoubtedly the most outstanding teacher. You’ll learn about the world, about people, and the most valuable lessons about yourself.

11. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m going. Are you coming with me?

12. i’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach., 13. yeah, working is great.. but have you tried traveling, 14. “kilometers are shorter than miles. save gas and take your next trip in kilometers.” – george carlin., 15. at the end of the day, i’d rather have a lot of stories to tell than a full bank account..

Those epic stories of places you’ve been and things you’ve seen will warm your heart when you’re old and grey in a way that a loaded bank account will not.

16. Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead.

17. i need six months of vacation. twice a year..

18. Physically, I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito.

19. i’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. just kidding. i’m headed to the airport., 20. good things come to those who book flights..

If you don’t stand at the bus stop, you’re not likely to catch the bus. Similarly, if you don’t put yourself on adventure’s path, you won’t have any. Book the flight. Put yourself out there and see what happens.

21. I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!

22. i’ve got 99 problems. but i’m on vacation, so i’m ignoring them all.

23. Don’t speak the language? Already said “what?” three times. Just smile, nod and hope for the best.

24. me: “i want to travel more.” my bank account: “like, to the park”.

The struggle is so real for many of us! This funny travel quote reminds us that many of us have champagne dreams on a water budget. You only need to scroll on Instagram to see incredible places and beautiful people living their very best life to remind you that your bank account is totally holding you back.

25. My favorite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays.

26. reality called, so i hung up., 27. me traveling: person: “un cafe” me: “oui” person: “sucre” me: “non” person: “you speak very good french” me: “gracias.”, 28. there should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation..

We couldn’t agree more with this funny travel quote. Reality hits like a speeding train after a glorious escape. It’s the return to the same old , a mountain of emails, and the unpacking that bring on the blues after traveling.

29. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just want a paycheck to buy plane tickets.

30. I wish I was a postcard. For under $2 you can travel the world to any location in the world.

31. i feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to.. anywhere., 32. i travel a lot; i hate having my life disrupted by routine..

Life is what happens when you’re traveling, and everything else is just a means to an end. A true wanderer thrives on the unexpected, and ever-changing scenery. Going to the same job every day to earn money is simply a way to afford the trips that remind you that you’re truly alive.

33. Have you ever stopped to think, maybe travel is into me?

34. how can people my age plan spontaneous trips to thailand i can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel., 35. education is important. but travel is importanter, 36. friend: let’s go to bora bora. me: man, i wanna go, but i’m pora pora..

We’ve tested countless backpacks over the years, but there’s one that has always been the best and remains the best buy for adventurers: the broke backpacker-approved Osprey Aether and Ariel series.

Want more deetz on why these packs are so  damn perfect? Then read our comprehensive review for the inside scoop!

37. If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise.

38. people having babies and i’m like; what country am i going to next.

We know this feeling all too well! Not everyone’s journey needs to look the same. Follow your heart.

39. Do you ever stress about money and then accidentally book another flight?

40. Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland.

41. friend 1: i’m getting a house. friend 2: i’m having a baby. friend 3: i’m getting married. me: i’m headed to the airport., 42. ironing boards are surfboards that gave up their dreams and got a boring job. don’t be an ironing board..

It’s just a funny travel quote on the surface, but so true. If your dream is to travel, don’t let anyone stop you. Don’t deny the lure of the open road. Else you risk living out your days always wondering what if , and regretting those adventures you never took. You could be riding epic waves or stuck in a dark corner and doing a mindless job every day. Choose wisely!

43. I followed my heart, and it led me to the airport.

44. if you had to choose between true love or traveling the world, which country would you visit first, 45. imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands., 46. i’ve got a crush on the world..

And what’s not to love? There’s so much to see and explore!

47. I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel magazine!

Is there a gaze more full of desire than a traveler flipping through a travel magazine? It’s a love affair like no other.

48. Birds literally just eat, travel, and make a mess on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you, but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.

49. high five if you don’t know what you’re doing with your life and just want to travel the world..

There was a time when a nomadic lifestyle was frowned upon, or at the least regarded with suspicion. Air travel and technology have made it so much easier to chase the life of which you’ve always dreamed.

50. Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas.

51. Can we just skip to the part in my life where I travel the world?

52. getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a caribbean ocean and 30-degree weather waiting outside for you., 53. live a life you don’t need a vacation from..

Ok, this one isn’t the funniest travel quote, but it’s true – and we included it because everyone needs to be reminded. If your life makes you feel like you want to escape, you can change it. It might take time and planning, but it’s worth chasing.

54. Work hard. Travel harder.

55. packs two hours before leaving for a trip. unpacks three months after coming home..

We all know this person. Maybe you are this person. Unpacking is always such a chore. Once you unpack, the holiday is well and truly over. We can see why you’d put it off.

56. Me: triple-checked packing list. Also, me: forgets underwear, contact solution, and favorite chapstick.

57. procrastapacking (n.) the act of thinking about packing a suitcase instead of actually doing it..

And invariably, this ends with a mad scramble to get everything stuffed in a bag mere hours before your flight. You’ll have forgotten something important – it’s a given. Passport? Ticket? Money? You’ll figure the rest out.

58. Normal life: Wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for 3-day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day, so I’ll take 21 tops.

59. i have been to almost as many places as my luggage..

Oh, boy! Lost luggage woes. Who hasn’t had an awful experience of their luggage going missing? It’s all part of the adventure, though!

60. Running to the gate is my cardio.

61. the airport is a lawless place. 7 am drink a beer. tired sleep on the floor. hungry chips now cost $17., 62. i love those days when my only decision is window or aisle..

63. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need a trip.

Yikes! Find us one person who actually likes how they look in their passport pictures. It’s like the people taking those pictures are specifically instructed to make the subject look as awful as possible while still being vaguely recognizable.

64. What’s that medical condition called where you constantly need to have a trip booked?

65. you can’t make everyone happy. you are not a plane ticket., 66. in desperate need of a full body massage, four days of sleep, and a ticket to the bahamas., 67. “worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist” – russell baker., 68. “you define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. so you are grateful.” – paul theroux., 69. “airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” — al gore..

A strong contender on our list of funny travel quotes. Why is it that no matter how uneventful and smooth the flight, you always arrive at your destination looking like you were hanging onto the landing gear the whole way?

70. “Don’t worry about the world ending today; it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” ~ Charles M. Schulz.

71. don’t be a tourist, be a traveler..

Oooh, deep! Tourists take pictures of all the major sites and attractions, tick a destination off their list, and move on. A traveler feels a place, tastes a place, and wants to get below the surface.

72. I need Vitamin Sea.

73. “i have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” ~ mark twain..

This quote has stood the test of time. Even in our modern world of speedy air travel and high-tech gadgets, traveling with others will make or break your relationship.

74. Work, save, travel, repeat.

Words to live by, if you ask us. Life summed up in one neat, funny travel quote.

75. Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.

76. “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” ~ John Steinbeck.

77. “drink heavily with the locals whenever possible.” ~ anthony bourdain., 78. i wish i had never gone traveling, said no one ever..

It’s funny because it’s true. You’ll always gain more than you lose.

79. Let’s wander where the WiFi is weak.

We’re all so overly connected that it’s essential to disconnect so that we reconnect to the things that really matter. Don’t miss the moments that count because you’re too busy trying to get the perfect picture to post online.

80. A change of latitude would help my attitude.

81. travel – because money returns, time doesn’t..

82. That moment when you’re asked where you got something, and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store.

83. “sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” – jerry seinfeld., 84. “a hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.” – chelsea handler., 85. “airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by stark moments of terror.” – al boliska., 86. “adventure without risk is disneyland.” – douglas coupland., 87. “backpacking is the art of knowing what not to take.” – sheridan anderson..

88. “I travel light but not at the same speed.” – Jarod Kintz.

89. “if you think adventure is dangerous, try routine, it’s lethal.” – paulo coehlo..

Another famous quote offering a snappy piece of life advice. Get out there now. There’s plenty of time to settle down into a routine later in life.

90. “I would totally give up travel, but I’m not a quitter.” – Anonymous.

91. “when preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. then take half the clothes and twice the money.” – susan heller..

Great advice wrapped up in a funny travel quote. You never need as much clothing as you think you will, and you always need more money than you budgeted.

92. “Once in a while, it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told.” – Alan Keightley.

93. “i feel like most of my problems could be solved with a trip to.. well, anywhere.” – anonymous., 94. “the gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. i speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass.” – mark twain., 95. “the best way to know a city is to eat it.” – scott westerfeld..

Eating local foods is one of the best things about travel. Depending on the location, this may require a stronger stomach or a tongue immune to spice.

Our GREATEST Travel Secrets…

Pop your email here & get the original Broke Backpacker Bible for FREE.

96. “Travel like Gandhi, with simple clothes, open eyes, and an uncluttered mind.” – Rick Steve.

97. “this is the first year i’m not going to fiji because of covid-19. normally, i do not go because i am poor.” — brooke miller..

We love this funny travel quote. Most of us usually aren’t able to travel because of budgetary reasons, but the recent pandemic gave us a new reason for not going anywhere. We’re so glad the hard lockdowns and travel bans seem to be behind us, and we can go back to blaming our bank accounts.

98. “I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.” — Michael LeRoux.

99. “thanks, tsa, i haven’t been touched like that since prom night.” — meaghan o’connell..

Airport security can be a real drag. Having to open up your bags and have your things rifled through. It’s never fun, but this funny travel quote puts a whole new spin on it.

100. “Airports are gonna go from being the meanest place to be to the nicest once we’re allowed to fly again. Check my bag? Go ahead. Screaming baby? Sit right next to me, buddy.” — Ashley Fern Rothberg.

We’re so grateful to be able to travel again. So thankful that all those petty annoyances we hated before seem to be like old friends welcoming us home. Happy post-pandemic travels!

101. Airports: the only place where drinking at 8 am is socially acceptable.

Final thoughts.

We stayed at home for way too long, and now that we can travel again, we hope you’re out there making plans, exploring, and chasing your wanderlust. If not, maybe these funny travel quotes will pep you up enough to get back out there.

Rose Wilson

Share or save this post

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail.

• Skip to primary navigation
• Skip to main content
• Skip to primary sidebar

Global Munchkins

Travel + Global Inspired Lifestyle

July 22, 2020

75 Incredibly Funny Travel Quotes & Tips – Travelers Can Relate To

As you know, traveling is a staple of our lives. Sometimes, travel can get stressful (especially with 5 kids) even for the most wanderlust-filled people among us. Usually, those times of stress or sometimes disaster are often the times we look back and laugh at the most. Here are 75 funny travel quotes that remind me of so many of our journeys, plus many funny travel tips that are all too relatable. 

75 Incredibly Funny Travel Quotes that Every Traveler Can Relate To

Funny Travel Tips & Quotes

There is a whole lot of truth to some of these travel quotes. This includes some incredibly funny travel tips that are all too true. 

• “Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.” –Dave Barry
• “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” –Jerry Seinfeld
• “When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” –Unknown
• “I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.” –Oscar Wilde
• “On a New York subway you can get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.” –Lewis Gizzard
• “When you come to a fork in the road…take it.” –Yogi Berra
• “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” –George Carlin
• “You can knock anyone down in Spain and then just pretend there are a bunch of bulls chasing you.” –Guy Endore-Kaiser
• “Buy the ticket, take the ride.” -Unknown
• I think everyone has had a trip like this. “It’s easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.” –Art Buchwald
• “Be advised that there is no parking in Europe.” –Dave Barry
• “Two great talkers will not travel far together.” –Spanish proverb
• “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” –Mark Twain
• My philosophy on vacations (and that is why I have dessert every night on vacay) “Vacation calories don’t count!” -Unknown
• “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” –Mark Twain
• “My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?” -Unknown

Airplanes & Airports Travel Quotes

Oh the “joy” of flying. Here are some of my favorite funny travel quotes that relate to those many hours in very uncomfortable seats. If you are looking for some not so funny travel tips, check out my best travel tips for booking cheap flights.

• “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” –Al Gore
• “The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.” –Andy Borowitz
• “Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.” –Al Bolisk
• “It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, ‘As pretty as an airport’.” –Douglas Adams
• “There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.” –Rich Jeni
• “I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.” –Dave Barry
• “I love it when the flight attendant says, ‘Your seat cushion becomes a flotation device’. Well, why doesn’t the plane just become a boat?” –Steve Shaffer
• “In flying, the probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.” –Neil Armstrong
• “You want to know what it’s like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don’t stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breathe your own air over and over and over.” –Lewis Black
• “Any time you fly somewhere, don’t pay your credit card bill. If the plane crash lands, those people will never stop looking for you.” -Kelkulus

Check out our Funny Road Trip Quotes to Inspire Your Next Adventure!

Inspirational Travel Quotes

Ok, as you all know I am all about inspiration. Here is a mixture of inspirational and funny travel quotes.

• “Your vibe attracts your tribe!” –Unknown
• “The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.” –Henry David Thoreau
• “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” –Andre Guide
• “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” –Marcel Proust
• “If you don’t have a stupid travel story to tell, you did something terribly wrong!” -Unknown
• “I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.” – Hilaire Belloc
• “Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversations.”  – Elizabeth Drew
• “Work hard, travel harder.” –Unknown
• “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” –Susan Sontag
• “Our happiest moments as tourists always seem to come when we stumble upon one thing while in pursuit of something else.” –Lawrence Block
• “The tans will fade, but the memories will last forever.” –Unknown
• “A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.” –Tim Cahill
• “Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” –Susan Sontag
• “Can we just skip to the part of my life where I travel the world?” -Unknown

Funny Quotes About Travel & the Excruciating Cost

Oh, how a trip can cost quite the fortune. We have been pretty lucky with my husband always on a search to find free flights with miles or score some amazing hotel deals. 

• “Screw the caviar, I want to travel the world!” –Unknown
• “To travel is worth any cost or sacrifice.” –Elizabeth Gilbert
• “At the end of the day…I’d rather like to have a lot of stories to tell, than a full bank account.” -Unknown
• “Backpacking is money spent on education.” –Unknown
• “I wish that road trips could pay my bills.” –Unknown
• “Work, save, travel, repeat.” -Unknown

Packing Travel Quotes

Packing for travel is probably everyone’s least favorite thing about traveling. Well, except for lost bags which happened to us on our way to Banff . 

• “Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.” –Unknown
• “Orville Wright said to his brother, ‘Wilbur, you were only in the air for 12 seconds. How could my luggage be in Cleveland?” –Red Buttons
• “I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.” –Bob Hope
• “How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?” –George Roberts
• “The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.” -foodandwhining
• “I love that we squeeze so much into out luggage that we have to sit on it to make it close, but then are outraged when the zipper breaks” Anonymous

Funny Travel Quotes about Destinations & More

• “Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.” – Phyllis Diller
• “The Spanish government, having run completely out of money, secretly sold the Pyrenees to China, and is now separated from France only by traffic cones.” –Dave Barry
• “If you’re going to America, bring your own food.” –Fran Lebowitz
• “People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal.” –Melanie White
• “Las Vegas is sort of how God would do it if he had money.” –Steve Wynn
• “When it’s three o’ clock in New York, it’s still 1938 in London.” –Bette Midler
• “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything!” –Steve Martin
• “When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is.” –Fran Lebowitz
• You know you’re in India when you hear yourself telling your driver as he is backing up, “Careful, there is a cow behind you.” – Lydia Ramsey
• “A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.” –Garrison Keillor
• “Recently I found myself arguing with a British friend of mine over which tastes better: English cooking or dirt”. –Bruce Cameron
• “Life is not a fairytale. If you lose your shoes at midnight, you are drunk!” -Unknown
• “You and I come by road or rail, but economists travel on infrastructure.” –Margaret Thatcher
• “No matter how many times I visit NYC, I am always struck by the same thing- a yellow taxicab.” –Scott Adams

What the Heck, Funny Travel Quotes

• “I need 6 months of vacation, twice a year.” -Unknown
• Education is important, but travel is importanter!” -Unknown
• “All you need is love   and a passport.” –Unknown
• “The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.”  – Britney Spears
• “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” –Russel Baker
• “There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.” –Robert Benchley
• “I want someone to look at me the way I look at travel magazines!” -Unknown
• “I need a vacation so long that I forget my passwords!” -Unknown

Do you have a great Travel Quote? Let us know in the comments and we will add it to the list

You Might Also Enjoy:

26 Powerful Oprah Quotes- Inspiration To Live YOUR Best Life

The BEST Luxury Resorts For Families [say Travel Experts]

Top 10! Best Places to Travel with Kids

Pin for Later: 75 Incredibly Funny Travel Tips & Quotes that Every Traveler Can Relate To

• Recent Posts

• Travel Experts Reveal The BEST Luxury Resorts For Families! - June 20, 2024
• The Ultimate Guide to The Best Rides at Animal Kingdom - June 3, 2024
• How to Navigate Walt Disney World Transportation Like a Pro! - June 1, 2024

Reader Interactions

January 14, 2019 at 6:52 am

Very good and fun post. Thank you for sharing. I should start keeping a journal for my next flight!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed .

[instagram-feed]

Join The Newsletter

Travel + Beauty

218 Ridiculously Funny Travel Quotes That Travelers Can Relate To

Don’t they say laughter is the best medicine? Well, it is, besides traveling of course.  Here I have compiled a list of 218 funny travel quotes that will knock your socks off your feet. I am pretty sure if you’re an avid traveler like me you can relate to each one of these hilarious funny travel quotes if not all.

Give yourself a good chuckle with these insanely funny travel captions for your Instagram until you’re on the next jet plane.

This article may contain affiliate / compensated links. For full information, please see our  disclosure here.

Related post:

• Captions For Travel
• Friend Travel Quotes
• Traveling Alone Quotes

Funny Travel Quotes

1| “Travitude (n.) when you start to feel grumpy and sassy because you haven’t travelled in a while”- Unknown

2| “ You’ve never felt true fear until your passport isn’t where you think you left it.- Unknown 

3| “What’s that medical condition called where you constantly need to have a trip booked?” 

4|“Should I book another flight to go abroad? Brain: no. Wallet: no. Mom: no. Dog: no. Universe: no…I think I’m gonna book the flight.”- Unknown

5| “Birds literally just eat, travel, and shit on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you, but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.”- Unknown

6| “Friend 1: I’m getting a house. Friend 2: I’m having a baby. Friend 3: I’m getting married.  Me: I’m headed to the airport.”- Unknown

7|“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling

8| “Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.”- Unknown

9| “I feel like most of my problems could be solved with a trip to…well, anywhere.” – Anonymous

10| “When you’re trying to save money for a house, but end up with a one-way ticket to some tropical island.”- Unknown

11| “I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.” – Guy Clark

12| “Traveling’s not something you’re good at. It’s something you do. Like breathing.” – Gayle Foreman

13| “If you’re upset when traveling, just thing about a T-Rex trying to drink a martini…”- Unknown

14| “Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?” – Erma Bombeck

15| “What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?” – George Carlin

16| “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a plane ticket and that’s kind of the same thing.”-Unknown

17| “There’s nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.”-Stephen Colbert

18|  “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” — Al Gore

19| “A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.” – Chelsea Handler

20| “Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.” –Unknown

21| “The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.” – Britney Spears

22| “Don’t worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.”-Charles M. Schulz

23| “Adventure, yeah. I guess that’s what you call it when everybody comes back alive.” – Mercedes Lackey

24| “People complain there’re delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years”- Louis C.K.

25| “Traveling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station. ” – Lisa St. Aubin de Teran

26| “Any time you fly somewhere, don’t pay your credit card bill. If the plane crash lands, those people will never stop looking for you.” -Kelkulus

27| “Me: I want to travel more. Bank account: like, to the park?”- Unknown

28| “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything!” –Steve Martin

29| “I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.” – Unknown

30|“There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.” – Orson Welles

31| “I don’t want a house. I just want to travel and pet a lot of dogs.” 

32| “No matter where you go, there you are.” – Buckaroo Banzai

33| “There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane. Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.” – Rich Jeni

34| “The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right here in the United States.” –Dave Barry

35| “How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?” – George Roberts

36| “I’m getting tired of waking up and not being on the beach .”-Unknown

37| “If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.” – James Michener

38| “Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life.” – Jia Tolentino

39| “When I go To Travel, I changed my password to incorrect. So whenever I forget my password, the login tells me, the password is incorrect.”-Unknown

Funny Travel Instagram Captions

40| “Catch flights not feelings.” -Unknown 

41| “I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories.”- Unknown

42| “High five if you don’t know what you’re doing with your life and just want to travel the world.”- Unknown 

43| “You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.”- Unknown

44|  “TIP: You won’t get the holiday blues if you just keep booking holidays.”- Unknown

45| “Procrastapacking (n.) the act of thinking about packing a suitcase instead of actually doing it.”- Unknown

46| “Airports: the only place where drinking at 8 AM is socially acceptable.”- Unknown

47| “Running to the gate is my cardio.”- Unknown

48| “Work hard, travel harder.” -Unknown

49| “If you had to choose between true love or traveling the world, which country would you visit first?- Unknown

50| “A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is.”-Unknown

51| “Me traveling. Person: “Un cafe?” Me: “Oui.” Person: “Sucre.” Me: “Non.” Person: “You speak very good French.” Me: “Gracias.”-Unknown

52| “Tripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any travel trips currently booked.”- Unknown

53| “Suitcases are for princesses!”- Unknown

54| “Travessed (n.) An obsession with travel. When all you talk or think about is your past or future trips.” -Unknown

55| “People having babies…and I’m like: What country am I going to next?”-Unkown

56| “Go to work. Open computer. Scroll for plane tickets for 6 hours. Close computer. Go home.” -Unknown. 

57| “I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel magazine!”-Unknown

58| “Work tip: stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.”- Unknown

59| “Yeah, working is great…but have you tried traveling.”- Unknown

60| “All you need is  love  a passport.”- Unknown

61| “Life goal: Create a life that people assume you have anyway based on your Instagram account!”-Unknown

62| “Reality called so I hung up.”- Unknown

63| “A change of latitude would help my attitude.”- Unknown

64| “If at some point you don’t ask yourself “What have I gotten myself into?” then you’re not doing it right. – Roland Gau

65| I have panicked unnecessarily in all four corners of the globe. – Jon Ronson

66| “I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding, I’m on the road to the airport.” – Anonymous

67| “ I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag

68| “Work, save, travel, repeat.” -Unknown

69| “The best way to know a city is to eat it.” – Scott Westerfeld

70| “”Traveling is like a box of chocolates. Don’t matter what you get, all is good!”-Unknown

71| “I would totally give up travel, but I’m not a quitter.” – Anonymous

72| “I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”-Caskie Stinnett

73| “ Have you ever stopped to think, maybe travel is addicted to me?”- Unknown.

74| “Screw the caviar, I want to travel the world!” –Unknown

75| “Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in an office or mowing your lawn. Climb that damn mountain.”– Jack Kerouac

76| “If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I’m a size window seat in plane tickets.” – Anonymous

77| “Girls don’t wait for the prince anymore, they pack and travel the world.” – Unknown

Funny Vacation Quotes

78| “All I want for Christmas is you forever vacation.”- Unknown

79| “Me getting ready for vacation: manicure and pedicure, buy new Sephora products, spray tan, get waxed, get hair done, work out for a month, live off kale and veggies, try on 30K swimsuits and cry in dressing rooms. Husband getting ready for vacation: packs a bathing suit, flip-flops, a T-shirt, and calls it a day.”- Unknown 

80| “Be right back…” Just running away from Monday and going straight to the airport. “- Unknown

81| “A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.” – Robert Orben

82| “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” –Russel Baker

83| “It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.” – Anonymous

84| “You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your drivers license”-Unknown

85| “I heard an airplane passing overhead. I wished I was on it.”- Unknown

86| “Isn’t it amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?” – Zig Ziglar

87| “I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal.” – Jarod Kintz

88| “I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!” – Unknown

89| “The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts.” – Anthony Price

90| “My goal is to hit the gym every day I’m on vacation. Usually I just end up sleeping and drinking beer.” – Gary Allan 

91| “Me before vacation: “I’m going to be responsible with my money. This is a low budget trip. I’m gonna stay in a hostel and everything.”Me on vacation: *orders fancy drinks, rides a jetski, goes skydiving, buys souvenirs for the uncle’s new girlfriend and adopts an alpaca.*”- Unknown

Funny Vacation Captions

92| “I need a vacation so long that I forget my passwords!” -Unknown

93| “Just a reminder that I’m going on vacation and you’re not.”-Unknown 

94| “I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3 day vacation. Just in case.” – Unknown

95| “I can’t afford vacation, so I am just going to drink until I  don’t know where I am.”- Unknown

96| “Life is a trip, plan your next vacation.” – Matthe Fryer

97| “Ladies, imagine this. It’s 15 years from now, and you have no kids. You’re the cool wine aunt that occasionally comes back to the country for a brief visit before leaving for another long exotic vacation. You have no commitments, and a suspicious amount of money.”- Unknown

98| “Live a life you don’t need a vacation from.”- Unknown 

99| “I need a holiday. And by “holiday” I mean I need to move away and find a job. On the beach . With cocktails. “ – Unknown

100| “There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.” Unknown

101| “Vacation calories don’t count, right?”- Unknown

102|“I need a vacation, not a stupid weekend.”- Unknown

103| “My favorite place to vacation is anyplace by the ocean.” – Nina Arianda

104| “Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle

105| “ I’ve got 99 problems. But I am on vacation and I am ignoring them all! “-Unknown

Funny Quotes About Traveling With Friends

106|  “You and me, we are more than friends. We are like a small travel gang!”- Unknown

107|  “You can pack for every occasion, but a good friend will always be the best thing you could bring!” – Unknown

108| “Traveling in the company of those we love is home in motion.”– Leigh Hunt “Only the people you don’t know well enough seem normal. Every person you know well enough is odd, weird and different. This is called friendship!”- Unknown

109| “There is a whole world out there. Pack your backpack, your best friend and go.”- Unknown

110| “ I need a friend I can call in the middle of the night, tell him we have to leave, and the only sentence coming back is “when do we leave?“- Unknown 

111| “ I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” –Mark Twain

112| “Life is about doing things that don’t suck with people who don’t suck.”- Unknown

113| “The more I traveled, the more I realized fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.” – Shirley MacLaine“There are no strangers in this world, only friends I haven’t met yet.”- Unknown

114| “Let’s always vacay together.”- Unknown

115| “In life, it’s not where you go, it’s who you travel with.” -Charles Schultz

116| I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m going. Are you coming with me?”- Unknown

117|  “Sometimes all you need is a great friend and thirst for adventure.”- Unknown

118| “A good friend listens to your adventures. Your best friend makes them with you.”- Unknown

119| “Friend: Let’s go to Bora Bora. Me: Man, I wanna go, but I’m pora pora.”-Unknown

Funny Road Trip Quotes

120| “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” – Jerry Seinfeld

121| “I wish that road trips could pay my bills.” –Unknown

122|“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra

123| “Life is beautiful if you are on the road somewhere.”- Orhan Pamuk

124| “Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey.”- Babs Hoffman

125| “On the road again…”- Unknown

126| “A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”-Emile Ganest

127| “Let’s go on a road trip.”- Unknown

128| “Road trips require a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes – oh, and directions.” – Jenn McKinlay

129| “It’s a road trip! It’s about adventure! . . . It’s not like we have somewhere to go.” – John Green

130| “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”-George Carlin

Funny Travel Quotes From Movies

131| “Adventure is out there.” – Up

132| “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” – The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty

133| “You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.”- Me Before You

134| “I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere.”- Into The Wild

135| “The world is not in your books and maps, it’s out there.”- The Hobbit

136| “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

137| “We travel just to travel.” – The Motorcycle Diaries

138| “Adventure waits for no one.” – The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty

Short Funny Travel Quotes

139| “Jet lag is for amateurs.” –Unknown

140| “I just need a large coffee, a plane ticket and a bag full of cash. “- Unknown

141| ”Can we just skip to the part in my life where I travel the world?”- Unknown

142| “Don’t be a tourist, be a traveler.” – Unknown

143| “If traveling was free, BYE!”

144| “I’ve got a crush on the world.-Unknown

145| “If an ass goes traveling, he’ll not come home a horse.” – Thomas Fuller

146| “I love those days when my only decision is window or aisle.”-Unknown

147| “If traveling was free, you would never see me again.”-Unknown

148| “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”- Unknown

149| “People don’t take trips – trips take people.” – John Steinbeck

150| “The journey, not the arrival, matters.” – T.S. Eliot

151| “I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”- Unknown

152| “He who would travel happily must travel light.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

153| “Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.” – Jim Gaffigan

154| “When in doubt, travel.”- Unknown

155| “I regret traveling said nobody ever!”- Unknown

156| ”I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.” –Bob Hope

157| ”Education is important. But travel is importanter!”-Unknown

158| “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.” – Unknown

159| “Backpacking is money spent on education.” –Unknown

160| “Good things come to those who book flights.”-Unknown

161| “If traveling was free, you would never see me again.”-Unknown

162| “Adventure without risk is Disneyland.” – Doug Coupland

Funny Cruise Quotes

163| “Time to get ship faced.”- Unknown

164| “If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise.”-Unknown 

165| “I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.”- Unknown

166| “Bad girls don’t drink and drive…they sip and cruise.”- Unknown

167| “Seas the day and book cruise!”- Unknown

168| “On cruise mode!”- Unknown

169| “Cruise is my favorite season.”- Unknown

170| “The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh at the same as the boat.” – Maxine Humor

171| “Shipfaced!”- Unknown

172| “I work to support my cruising addiction.”- Unknown

173| “Work sucks, I’m going on a cruise.”- Unknown

174| “People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal.” –Melanie White

175| “Warning! I bought the drink package.”- Unknown 

176| “Is it cruise o’clock yet?”- Unknown

177| “Living life one cruise at a time.”- Unknown

178| “Eat. Sleep. Boat. Repeat.”- Unknown

179| “Only on a cruise ship will you pay hundreds of dollars a day to sleep in a closet.”- Maxine Humor

180| “Let’s keep it classy on the cruise and promise we won’t dare anyone to jump off the ship.”- Unknown

181| “Honey, pack your “fat pants.” We’re going on a cruise!”- Unknown

Funny Family Vacation Quotes

182| “Help me! I’m on a family vacation.”- Unknown

183| “A family that travels together stays together.”- Unknown

184| “Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together.” – Unknown

185| “Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad.”- Unknown

Funny Relatable Quotes About Travel

186| “I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world.” – Anonymous 

187| “My mom watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.”- Unknown

188| “Me: I’m not going to overpack this time. Inner me: I need this. I will need that as well. I need everything.

189| “A passport holder sounds like a great idea until you get to the airport and have to remove it 4 billion times.”- Unknown

190| “By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling and comes to family events tipsy.”- Unknown

191|“Packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip. Unpacks 3 months after coming home.”

192| “Some people spending their life searching for “the one.” I’m just searching for the one good travel deal.”-Unknown

193| “Me: triple checked packing list Also me: *forgets underwear, contact solution, and favorite chapstick*”- Unknown

194| “So, do I live out of a suitcase for the next month? Do I unpack just to repack again? Do I put my toothbrush back in the bathroom? I’m a visitor in my own house what the heck.”- Unknown

195| “That moment when you’re asked where you got something and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store.- Unknown

196| “Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.” -The Dalai Lama

197| “My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?” –Unknown

198| “Do you ever stress about money and then accidentally book another flight?”- Unknown

199| “At the end of the day…I’d rather like to have a lot of stories to tell, then a full bank account.”

200| “Nothing says ‘vacation’ like spending $72 on food and booze at the airport before even reaching your destination.” – Ashley Fern

201| “How can people my age plan  spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel.”-Unknown

202| “Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.” – Unknown

203| “My favorite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then find fun, flirty and exciting ways to not wear them while I’m away.” – Adam Rippon

204| “My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I’m thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.” – Dennis Miller

205| “The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost 17$.” – Alyssa Limperis

206| “I just want to travel the world, overspend at IKEA and drink coffee while cuddling puppies.”- Unknown

207| “My favorite memory from childhood is my parents paying for my holidays.” – Unknown

208| “People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” – Dagobert D. Runes

209| “I love when people say “just quit your job and travel.” Taking an Uber from the bar to my home is the only travel I can afford.”- Unknown

210| “Please remain seated until we’ve reached the gate, then feel free to stand hunched over weirdly sideways for 15 minutes while we do whatever.” – ContritePerson

211| “The temptation to go to the airport, buy a one way ticket, leave the country and live on my own has never been so real.” – American Nomad

212| “You want to know what it’s like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don’t stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breathe your own air over and over and over.” –Lewis Black

213| “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux

214| “When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to disassemble a bomb? They take it and they’re like, ‘What do I do … I don’t really … ha-huh …’ Yeah, it’s the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!”-Dane Cook

215| “Stuck somewhere between “I need to save” and “you only live once.” – Unknown

216| “Normal life: Wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for 3-day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day so I’ll take 21 tops.”- Unknown

217| “If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal.” -Paulo Coelho

218| “Everyone is getting pregnant, engaged or getting married. I just wanna lose weight and travel.”- Unknown

Funny Travel Quotes & Funny Travel Captions Conclusion 

I hope you enjoyed this extensive list of funny travel quotes I compiled for you. Did these funny travel quotes tickle your fancy? Let me know which funny travel captions were your favorite? If you have a hilarious quote, leave it in the comments below. No need to let it waste. I will mix it in with the other funny travel quotes with credit!

Have a love for travel quotes? Check out my other posts with travel quotes and captions to inspire you for your adventures. 

• Best Friend Travel Quotes
• Los Angeles Captions
• Beach Travel Quotes
• Sun Captions For Instagram
• Beverly Hills Captions
• Mexico Captions
• Hawaii Captions For Instagram
• Summer Captions & Quotes
• Beautiful Quotes About Greece
• Sunset Captions & Quotes
• Waterfall Quotes & Captions
• New York Instagram Captions
• Statue Of Liberty Quotes
• Dubai Instagram Captions
• Desert Instagram Captions
• Rooftop Captions
• Times Square Captions
• Florida Captions
• Amsterdam Captions
• Quotes About Palm Trees
• Santorini Instagram Captions
• Zurich Instagram Captions
• Idioms About Travel
• Copenhagen Instagram Captions
• Utah Quotes
• Abu Dhabi Instagram Captions
• Road Trip Instagram Captions
• Malibu Captions
• Hollywood Captions
• Texas Instagram Captions
• Tulum Captions
• Portugal Instagram Captions
• Bahamas Captions
• Seattle Captions
• Miami Instagram Captions
• Star Captions
• Adventure Captions For Instagram
• Argentina Captions For Instagram
• Fall Instagram Captions
• Bike Captions For Instagram
• Pumpkin Patch Captions For Instagram
• Snowflake Instagram Captions
• Bucket List Captions
• Canada Instagram Captions
• Africa Captions For Instagram
• Brazil Captions For Instagram
• Rio De Janeiro Instagram Captions

Like this post on funny travel quotes? Share it with others or pin it for later in your quotes board. 

HELP: I was unsuccessful in finding the author of some of these funny travel quotes. Please leave me a comment or send me a message if you know who the unknown authors are. I would love to give them credit.

Recommended Articles

One day in reykjavik: savor reykjavik in 24 hours.

American Express Credit Card & Why You Need To Go Platinum

337 Astonishing Sunset Captions For Instagram

20 Comments

Love this quotes! They’re super unique.

Thank you Bliss, glad you enjoyed them 🙂

Haha these gave me a laugh, I especially love 98! Thanks so much for sharing!

Hello Jasmine. I am glad they gave you a good laugh!

Some fantastic quotes here! I definitely laughed aloud at some of these! My personal favourite is always “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” I’m not sure how those machines manage to make me look SO bad in the photo, but it is definitely an accurate representation of how I look when I get off a plane!

Hi Hannah! I am so happy you enjoyed the quotes. That is a good one. They make me look bad too! lol

These quotes are so cute! And there are so many I haven’t heard before -they kept me entertained for a while! Thanks for putting a smile on my face 🙂

I am so happy I could put a smile your face Coni. I love funny travel quotes and so thrilled you enjoyed them.

These are great for a giggle!!

Thanks so much for reading Roshni! Glad they gave you a giggle 🙂

Love a good travel quote 🙂 The one about the airport being a lawless place… so true. haha thanks for sharing 🙂

So true Lora. The airport is a lawless place lol!

These are great. I love a good quote but the funny ones are the best. Awesome list!

Thank you so much Emma. So happy you enjoyed them!

Thank you for sharing. This put a smile on my face 🙂

So glad you enjoyed them!

I love love love this list, it is so great for my travel photo books!

Oh travel books are soooo much fun! I am sure you have a nice one Rebecca!

Fun collection of quotes. #31 about not wanting a house, just to travel and pet a lot of dogs – that could have been said by one of my daughters.

Hi Rhonda! I feel the exact same way as your daughter. She sounds wise! Thanks for reading!

Comments are closed.

• Hiking with Kids: Essential Gear for a Fun and Safe Adventure
• Discover Branson's Finest Hiking Trails
• 15 Offbeat Digital Nomad Destinations You Need to Visit Now
• Cancun vs. Tulum - Which Should You Visit Next?
• How to Play Video Games as You Travel the World
• 21 Unusual Places to Visit in Poland You Must See
• Work With Us

50 Funny Travel Quotes to Inspire Your Wanderlust

Traveling the world can be an adventure filled with unforgettable experiences, and sometimes, it’s the funny moments that make the journey even more memorable.

Whether you’re backpacking across Europe, cruising the Caribbean, or exploring the mysteries of Asia, a good laugh is a universal language that connects us all. So, pack your sense of humor and enjoy these humorous travel quotes that will hopefully bring a smile to your face, no matter where you are on the globe.

50 Hilarious Travel Quotes

To change it up, I included my own spin to these quotes, sharing a snippet of my own adventures and memories after each, bringing these words to life with tales from my travel diary.

“I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag

For the insatiable traveler, this quote is a witty nod to the never-ending bucket list. We’ve decided that our travel bucket list isn’t actually in a bucket anymore. It’s more like an expandable pocket dimension.

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain

So true! Traveling together non-stop for a year is how Micki and I learned marriage could work for us. If you can survive months living in a tiny van and still enjoy their company, you can likely get along forever.

“If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine, it’s lethal”-  Paulo Coelho

It’s only funny because it’s true. Statistically, train connections in the USA are safer than getting out of bed every day. When in doubt, ride a train!

Birds literally just eat, travel, and shit on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you, but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for. – Anonymous

Who knew that birdbrained might actually be a complement to some people. Having wings would be handy at times though.

“Jet Lag is for Amateurs.” – Dick Clark

This playful quip reminds us that true globetrotters know how to handle time zone changes with a grin. While it affects us all one way or another, pushing through it means you can get on with your journey sooner. Onward and upward!

“Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” – Al Gore

A humorous observation about the less-than-glamorous side of air travel. It’s why we always laugh when people go out of their way to look good on their passport pictures. We’ve found it’s better to look so run down that no matter how badly you’re doing on your day of travel that they won’t think something is wrong with you. Same logic applies to your driver’s license.

“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.” – Caskie Stinnett

Routine is just one of the many things nomads and wanderers try to avoid. Why have a repeat of yesterday when tomorrow can be anything?

“I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding, I’m headed to the airport.” – Anonymous

For those who find the allure of the airport irresistible, this quote is a humorous nod to our wanderlust. We purposely bought a house on one side of the city just to be closer to the airport. Just saying…

“Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth, it is a city of freedom. And in freedom, most people find sin.” – John Green

For me, this is a clever observation on the liberating spirit of travel and the adventures we’ll find when embracing that freedom. If the devil on your shoulder wins over the angel, that’s on you and not your destination. 😉

“There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.” – Anonymous

We’ve all felt the post-vacation blues, and this quote captures that sentiment perfectly.

“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin

A humorous take on the metric system by the legendary comedian, encouraging us to think differently about distances. One trick to happiness when traveling is to always round up or down until the number seems palatable. If you’re on a tight budget, forget I said that though.

“I follow my heart… and it usually leads me to the airport.” – Anonymous

Another witty testament to the heart’s desire for new adventures and experiences. While some people dread airports, we’ve always loved them.

“No place is ever as bad as they tell you it’s going to be.” – Chuck Thompson

Whether it’s travel, a movie, a book or a meal, always take other peoples opinions with a grain of salt. Most experiences are unique and we’ve both hated a city and loved it, with our expectations being the only difference between visits. Finding a nice place to sleep and a good restaurant goes a long way too.

“I’ve got 99 problems, but I’m on vacation and I’m ignoring them all!” – Anonymous

The perfect motto for anyone looking to temporarily escape the stresses of everyday life. Or, sell all your belongings and move your problems to another country where at least they’ll have a different accent.

Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything. – Steve Martin

A good reminder that there is no word for sorrow or regret in Timatuathian. Of course that language itself doesn’t exist so why would those two words exist anyway?

“Once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life.” – Michael Palin

Ah, the joy and pain of the travel bug. It has a ferocious bite and often refuses to let go no matter how many miles you’ve put on or the amount of countries you’ve seen. The more you see, the more you realize there is to see and therein lies the problem.

Witty travel quotes, the second half

Remember, as St. Augustine once said, the world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page. So turn the page, explore, and don’t forget to laugh along the way!

“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a plane ticket, and that’s kind of the same thing.” – Anonymous

A lighthearted reminder of how travel can bring joy into our lives. While it doesn’t take a lot of money to travel, more certainly never hurts.

“My favorite thing to do is go where I’ve never been.” – Diane Arbus

A simple yet profound statement about the essence of exploration and discovery. While it’s often the new that drives some, sometimes it can also be the old that they prefer to see in their rear view mirror.

“I would give up traveling but I’m not a quitter” – Anonymous

This quote is another playful turn on the hard work ethic and how sometimes when faced with adversity, it’s best to just bear down and keep at it, even if it’s enjoyable.

“A tourist is someone who drives thousands of miles to get a photo in front of their car.” – Anonymous

A playful jab at the classic tourist photo, this quote pokes fun at humans often absurd travel habits. Don’t worry, we have dozens of those pics as well. For instance, here we are in front of…

“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker

This quote humorously captures the irony of trying to blend in, only to be spotted a mile away. We have tons of pics over the years wearing certain clothing from Thai pants in Thailand to an Outback hat in Australia and all they scream at us now is tourist in bright letters.

“Traveling – it leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller.” – Ibn Battuta

A funny reminder that travel can render us speechless with its beauty before filling us with tales to tell.

“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu

This ancient wisdom reminds us that sometimes the journey is more important than the destination. While I’m guessing Lao wasn’t spanning the globe, pretty sure he enjoyed his travels and was secretly prophesizing about his luggage never arriving.

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

While not overly humorous in it’s own right, it does remind me of a story about a friend who decided to forge his own path once on a hike and ended up needing to be cut down from a tree hours later. It was a thing but definitely adds to the adage that a good journey can be made great with a little extra humor thrown in.

Hilarious and inspiring travel quotes, the third half

Sometimes all you need to add to a travel memory is a dash of humor to make it unforgettable. Here are some more funny travel quotes to awaken your wanderlust.

“People don’t take trips, trips take people.” – John Steinbeck

While the imagery of a trip as a literal persona kidnapping a person, throwing them on a plane and making them have fun makes me laugh, this is in truth a thought-provoking quote that suggests travel has the power to transform us.

Side note: A Transformer named Trip would be just as amusing to me.

“A child on a farm sees a plane fly overhead and dreams of a faraway place. A traveler on the plane sees the farmhouse and dreams of home.” – Carl Burns

This ironic quote captures the contrasting perspectives of the traveler and the stay-at-home dreamer. While we often dream of things we miss, having the ability to miss them in the first place is reason enough to jump on a plane and go someplace for a while. Perspective often needs distance to achieve itself.

“Travel is like an endless university. You never stop learning.” – Harvey Lloyd

A reminder that travel educates us in ways that go beyond traditional learning. I recall our trip to the Galapagos Islands where we not only learned about Charles Darwin’s thoughts on evolution but also the fact to get to the ferry early so we don’t have to sit in the open back for 2 hours getting soaked from the rain…

“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.” – Tom Lichtenheld

This funny quote definitely highlights the trials and tribulations of traveling with family. While new places and activities can hold some interest, 2 snippy children will argue no matter what’s in front of them. However, now they get to do it in another country!

“ If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

Winston obviously knew what it was like driving in LA but I digress, the truth is that a journey isn’t over until it’s over and even then, you might not end up where you thought you would. The unknown is half the fun.

“Live your life by a compass not a clock.” – Stephen Covey

Obviously Covey wasn’t a clock maker, but his adage remains. It’s the direction we take in life that determines our situation and that can’t always be done on a set timetable. Inflexibility in travel means inflexibility in life. Bending a little sometimes gives you a different view on where you are and where you’re heading. It’s also good for the back and knees.

“Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”- Anthony Bourdain

Anthony loved travel, meeting new people and trying new foods. Sure, that 2000 calorie piece of cake shouldn’t be on your everyday menu but are you seriously not going to try it once? Live a little.

“Don’t tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you travelled.” – Mohammed

The difference between knowledge and wisdom can often be measured by the amount of footsteps we’ve taken to get there. While the scholar reads about it, the traveler experiences it, tastes it, smells it, and digests it in such a way that they’re forever changed . The willingness to put oneself out there continually and the wisdom gained from such actions can speak volumes about a person.

“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.” – Dr. Seuss

Dr. Seuss’ characters strode the globe in their pursuits to teach and entertain and often found humor in the most unlikely places. I once found it in a sock, under a rock, in a shoe, surrounded by goo and so can you.

“It is not the destination where you end up but the mishaps and memories you create along the way.”- Penelope Riley

Another quote not so humorous in it’s wording but funny in the mishaps department. Some of our most memorable moments on the road happened due to one mishap or another. Even our worst travel day ended with us saying “at least it will be an entertaining story one day.”

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.” – John A. Shedd

A classic example of a travel metaphor implying that we aren’t meant to stay in one place forever. We need movement to fulfill our purpose, regardless of the outcome. Though imagining all of us as little ships with legs walking around everywhere is also pretty funny to me.

“The further I go, the closer to me I get.” – Andrew McCarthy

Me is a person on the other side of the world doing something amazing at any moment. The closer to me I get, the more me I become. While I can’t always be me, I get solace in knowing that me is out there and I look forward to the day I get to be me again.

“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” – John Steinbeck

As Micki and I get closer to celebrating our 20th anniversary, the truth of this statement hits me. It’s all about the journey. Preventing the boat from capsizing isn’t about control, it’s about paying attention, watching out for hidden rocks and moving and changing with the river as opposed to fighting against it. Like a journey or a marriage, a river will take you where rivers take you. Enjoy the ride.

“ That moment when you’re asked where you got something and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store.” – Anonymous

We’ve been guilty of this dozens of times. For a while, everything we displayed was from another country or another trip. These days we’ve packed and unpacked our things too many times to even bother showcasing them anymore but we do own some nice boxes. That one we filled in Thailand, that one in Australia, that one in South America…

“ Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.” – Anonymous

We’ve all done it though now we’ve learned from our mistakes and realize that in life we often dress to impress. The beauty of travel is most people don’t see you every day. Learn to get creative with your outfits. Maybe buy a nice hat and look out the window more often.

“Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.” – Erol Ozan

When you’re too busy following the path, sometimes you don’t realize you’re actually missing the journey. Explore beyond the path, there is always more to experience. More usually meaning beer, wine, food, music, art, dance and all the other good things in life worth pursuing.

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”- Terry Pratchett

We travel not only to see new things but also to be able to return to things we miss. Like distance, absence also gives perspective.

“ Ironing boards are surfboards that gave up their dreams and got a boring job. Don’t be an ironing board.” – Anonymous

Don’t be an ironing board is my new mantra. For the record, I also don’t want to be an anchor (it holds people back), a yesterday (it’s never in the present) or a sock (nothing funny, I just dislike socks).

“The world is waiting for you. Good Luck. Travel Safe. Go!” – Phil Keoghan

While travel isn’t always an amazing race, sometimes it can feel that way. Slow it down, explore, enjoy! Now Go!

“ Nothing lasts forever, except the day before you start your vacation.” – Gayland Anderson

No truer words have been spoken! Anticipation of an upcoming trip is still high on my list of things I look forward to.

“ You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux

The beauty of a new thing isn’t that it’s perfect or that it will instantly replace everything that was similar that came before. It’s the start of a new branch of something that can one day become amazing and transformative. Air travel started out rough (both figuratively and literally) and has gotten to the point where it can be a joy to sit down on a flight. I am grateful for that.

“You can’t control the past, but you can control where you go next.” – Kirsten Hubbard

Again we talk about control. While our journey should be allowed to happen as it happens, that doesn’t mean that sometimes you can’t point it in another direction. As winter approaches here, south seems prudent to me right now.

“I wonder if the ocean smells different on the other side of the world.” – J.A. Redmerski

Take it from me, it does. Everything does. Expectation often colors our reality. Color away my friends, color away.

“And that’s the wonderful thing about family travel: it provides you with experiences that will remain locked forever in the scar tissue of your mind.” – Dave Barry

Haha, family travel is a great way to experience the exact same trip from multiple points of view. A parent and a toddler can have the exact same day yet have very different takes on a situation. Same can be said for travel. Want to see the world differently? Explore it via your children and you’ll have a whole new understanding of the world. Hopefully it’s a positive experience for everyone but if not, at least there’s probably a good story in there somewhere.

May your travels be filled with laughter and joy. Remember, every journey is an opportunity for new stories and a good chuckle. Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer, especially when it comes with a side of laughter!

Traveling Areas

65+ Funny Travel Quotes To Inspire In 2024

In this blog, we dive into the lighter side of travel through funny travel quotes , funny vacation quotes, funny trip quotes, and funny travel slogans. Such comedy wisdom lightens up that even every well-designed travel itinerary composed of strategic plans has its share of funniest surprises. 

I reckon the world stand up as a comic book is what already morning has dawned, filled with witty sayings that make you giggle. Be it airports which are a very hectic place to be in; cultural shock which is a struggle common to all tourists; or even just the bliss of being away from your routine fellow tourists find these funny travel quotes hilarious.

Table of Contents

Funny Travel Quotes

Get ready to giggle your way around the globe with these Funny Travel Quotes that’ll make every adventurer chuckle .

• “Jet lag is for amateurs.”
• “I’ve got 99 problems, but I’m on vacation and I’m ignoring them all!”
• “Work, save, travel, repeat.”
• “I’m not lost, I’m exploring.”
• “Travel: because money returns, time doesn’t.”
• “Adventure: the best way to learn.”
• “I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right?”
• “Heading out on an adventure. I should pack 5 outfits but, just to play it safe, I’ve thrown in 35.”
• “Siri, remove my makeup.”
• “Travel is my therapy, but my therapist says I need something more.”
• “Vacation calories don’t count.”
• “I asked for an adventure and, well, I got a job.”
• “Too much Monday, not enough coffee.”
• “Life is short. Buy the damn plane ticket.”
• “This vacation is all I ever wanted. Until I remembered I have to pack for it.”
• “On a date with the world. It’s complicated.”
• “Spontaneity is the best kind of adventure.”

Funny Vacation Quotes

Plunge into the river of funny quotes with these funny vacation quotes, that serve as the icing on the cake of the freedom and merriment of getaway vacations!

• “Vacation calories don’t count. Right?”
• “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. Especially on vacation!”
• “My suitcase packed itself out of boredom.”
• “I need a six-month vacation, twice a year.”
• “Vacations are like love stories.”
• “Travel: because money returns, but time doesn’t. So does my will to work.”
• “Reality called, so I hung up.”
• “There’s nothing a vacation can’t solve. Except how to pay for the vacation.”
• “This vacation I’m hitting the beach like I hit my snooze button.”
• “I follow my heart and it usually leads me to the airport… or the fridge.”
• “Why do they call it ‘tourist season’ if we can’t shoot them?”

Funny Trip Quotes

Get ready for your next trip on the go with these funny trip quotes that add a pinch of humor to every journey.

• “Lost at sea? I’m not even good at being lost in a supermarket.”
• “My GPS is like a bad travel buddy. It gets me lost and then blames me for not following directions.”
• “This trip has me realizing that my spirit animal is a ‘do not disturb’ sign.”
• “Traveling: because sometimes you need to get lost to find a new cocktail bar.”
• “I’m on a whiskey diet.”
• “I’ve got a great sense of direction. I can get lost anywhere.”
• “Spontaneity is the best kind of adventure. Until you end up booking a hotel in the wrong city.”
• “Remember, no matter how expensive your hotel is, they’re never going to supply you with a room that comes with a sense of humor.”
• “Jet lag is my favorite hobby. It’s the only way to time travel without the science fiction.”

Funny Travel Slogans

Buckle up for a laugh-filled twain adventure with these funny travel slogans that promise to make your journey hilariously unforgettable

• “Escape the Ordinary, Embrace the Bizarre.”
• “Wanderlust: Because the Best Stories Begin with a Wrong Turn.”
• “Eat, Pray, Love, Regret, Repeat.”
• “Go Someplace Where Nobody Knows Your Social Media Handle.”
• “Travel: Because Adulting is Hard.”
• “See the World, Complain About the WiFi.”
• “Travel More, Work Less, Worry Never.”
• “Pack Up, Freak Out, Take Off.”
• “Let’s Get Lost in Places We Can’t Pronounce.”
• “We Travel Not to Escape Life, But for Life Not to Escape Us. And for the Free Breakfasts.”
• “Don’t Just Visit, Overstay Your Welcome.”
• “Take Vacations. Go to as Many Places as You Can. You Can Always Make Money. You Can’t Always Make Memories…or Get Refunds.”
• “Adventure Awaits, and So Does Lost Luggage.”
• “Join Us! We’re Good at Getting Lost.”
• “Life’s Short. Get Lost (In the Right Direction).”
• “Be a Traveler, Not a Tourist. But If You Can’t Manage That, At Least Be a Happy Tourist.”
• “Suitcases Are for Pragmatists. Adventures Are for Dreamers.”

Short Travel Quotes

Set off on a quick journey of inspiration with these Short travel quotes that pack a punch of adventure in just a few words.

• “Adventure awaits.”
• “Travel far, travel often.”
• “Wander often, wonder always.”
• “Explore more.”
• “Collect moments, not things.”
• “Go where you feel most alive.”
• “The world is yours to explore.”
• “Find joy in the journey.”
• “Escape the ordinary.”
• “Life is short. Travel more.”
• “Travel to live, live to travel.”
• “Eat well, travel often.”
• “Take only memories, leave only footprints.”
• “The journey is the destination.”

As we wrap up our journey through the world of funny travel quotes, funny vacation quotes, funny trip quotes, and funny travel slogans, it’s clear that humor is an essential travel companion . These light-hearted sayings not only provide comic relief but also bond us with fellow travelers, sharing in the universal language of laughter.

They remind us to take life a little less seriously and to find joy in the unexpected twists and turns of our travels. Whether it’s a misadventure that turned into a hilarious anecdote or a simple pun that captures the essence of wanderlust, these funny insights help us navigate the world with a smile.

So, the next time you’re packing your bags, remember to pack your sense of humor too. After all, the best travel stories often come from the moments that made us laugh the hardest. Visit our social media accounts (  Facebook ,  Instagram ,  Twitter , and  Pinterest ) for more updates and posts.

40+ Funny Travel Quotes to Make You Laugh

By: Author Hannah Cooper

Posted on Last updated: January 3, 2024

Sharing is caring!

There’s nothing like chortling over funny travel quotes to beat the in-between-trips blues. Check out this bumper collection of the funniest, silliest, and most relatable travel quotes out there.

We’ve also included funny travel quotes from movies, TV, and books to inspire your watchlist and next read. 

Short, funny travel quotes

Short and sweet, these funny quotes about travel will have you scrambling for the travel brochures!

“A coconut a day keeps the doctor away.”

“Have you ever stopped to think, maybe travel is addicted to me?”

“Yeah, working is great. But have you tried traveling?” 

“Running to the gate is my cardio.”

“People having babies. And I’m like…what country am I going to next?”

Me: “I want to travel.” 

My bank account: “Like, to the park?”

Friend: “Let’s go to Bora Bora. 

Me: I wanna, but I’m pora pora.”

“When you’re supposed to take the 8 a.m. train to the office but miss the stop and end up at the airport”

“I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon.”

“ I’ve got 99 problems and travel could solve literally all of them .”

“I love my job, but only when I’m on vacation.”

Down-to-earth funny travel quotes

These silly travel quotes are relatable. 

Europeans: “I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home.” Australians: “I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland.”

“Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito.”

“I Googled my symptoms. Turns out I just needed to go on a vacation.”

“I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just want a paycheck to buy plane tickets.”

Friend 1: “I’m getting a house.” Friend 2: “I’m having a baby.” Friend 3: “I’m getting married.” Me: “I’m going to the airport.”

Wise and funny quotes about travel

We can learn from traveling and reading wise yet funny quotes about travel when we’re at home. 

“Once the travel bug bites there is no known antidote, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life.”  ― Michael Palin

“When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.”  ― Helen Hayes

“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas and take your next trip in kilometers.” ― George Carlin

 “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” ― Helen Keller

“Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.” ― Jack Kerouac

“Live life with no excuses, travel with no regret.” ― Oscar Wilde

Funny quotes about traveling with kids

Unsurprisingly, most of these funny travel quotes remain anonymous. 

“A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.”  ― Tom Lichtenheld

“Parents don’t really go on holidays. They just look after their kids in a different country for a while.”

“Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad.”

“You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation.”

“Summer vacations are a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.”

Funny anecdotes on X (formerly Twitter)

The bluebird has flown the nest but X, formerly known as Twitter, is still a treasure trove of travel wit and snappy one-liners. Here are the cleverest and funniest plucked from the wittiest social media platform. 

“Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.” ― National Park Service

“Security at every level of the airport is insane until you get to the baggage claim. Then it’s like, take whatever bag you want.” ― Wandering Nick

“The fancier the hotel, the more likely I am to sleep with a towel on my face because I can’t figure out how to turn out all the lights.” ― Jen Rose Smith

“Got to love that final hour of a trip before the airport transfer, when you’re dressed for a flight to London but you’re still in a tropical country so you just… sit there, sweating profusely.”  ― Sarah J C Gillespie

“You know you’re getting older when you arrive at an airport two hours before the flight.” ― James Stewart

“Got an email saying I should get to the airport three hours early because of an update with the security systems. Got here and was through in five minutes. Can’t help feeling my dad is behind all this.”  ― Alexandra Haddow

“If I’m understanding correctly, in Italy, the norm is:

No breakfast, just espresso or cappuccinos.

Have a carb-heavy lunch/multi-hour meal from 1-3.

Take a 4-5 hour nap. Start dinner at 8.

Finish dinner at ~midnight

Drink wine all day.” ― David But In Survival Mode

“My kids mix their languages all the time but my favorite combo is Spanish and Scottish. Asking where a waiter had gone in a restaurant earlier: ‘Dónde está el wee mannie?’” ― Sophie Cameron

“When I worked in an office I asked a younger girl if she’d had a nice time in Ibiza on her first day back and she said, ‘aye it was brilliant we had an amazing time, one of my pals I went with died when we were out there but we still made the most of it.’ ” ― Natalie O’Donoghue

Sarcastic travel quotes

Not forgetting that Twitter is the home of sarcastic travel quotes.

“Baffled by suitcase shops at airports. Are there people who arrive at the airport with piles of clothes in their arms and bunches of underwear slung around their necks, and think, blimey I knew I forgot something?” ― Rory Boland

I tried to take peanut butter through airport security.

TSA: “Sorry, no liquids, gels, or aerosols.”

Me: “I want you to tell me which of those things you think peanut butter is.” ― Patrick Neve

“If you’re at the London fireworks and managed to get a recording on your phone, please make sure to share it. Would love to take a look.” ― Sam Bowman

Silly travel quotes inspired by pop music

Your favorite songs will never be the same again. 

“Oops!… I Traveled Again.”

“Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh,

Caught in bad turbulence…”

“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my itinerary.”

“Hello suitcase, my old friend…”

“Cause if you liked it then you should have put an air tag on it.”

“Oh girls just wanna have trips.”

Funny travel quotes from movies

Watching a travel-themed film is a classic way to buck yourself up when you’re counting down (and saving up) for your next adventure. Especially if it’s a comedy. Let these funny travel quotes from movies inspire you. 

“Great! Where are we going?” ― The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

“Sir , sir? Sir, excuse me. I know this is your cab, but I’m desperately late for a plane, and I was wondering if I could appeal to your good nature and ask you to let me have it.” ― Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987)

“First rule of India: there’s always room.” ― The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2004)

Joe Bradley: “Where do you live?”

Princess Ann: “…the Colosseum.”

Joe Bradley [to the taxi driver]: “She lives in the Colosseum.”

Taxi Driver: “Is wrong address!” ― Roman Holiday (1953)

“Just keep swimming.” ― Finding Nemo (2003)

“I’m just completely lost.” ― Lost in Translation (2003)

M. Gustave: “ How fast can you pack ?” Zero: “ Five minutes .” M. Gustave: “ Do it, and bring a bottle of the Pouilly-Jouvet ‘26 in an ice bucket with two glasses, so we don’t have to drink the cat piss they serve in the dining car .” ― The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

“For the last six months, he’s gone to Harvard and Berkeley. I’m betting he can get a passport.”  — Catch Me If You Can (2002)

Pippin: “ What about breakfast ?” 

Aragorn: “ Haven’t you had that already ?” 

Pippin: “ We’ve had one, yes. What about second breakfast? ” ― The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

Jack: “What did he say?”

Peter: “He said the train is lost”

Jack: “How can a train be lost? It’s on rails.” ― The Darjeeling Limited (2007)

Funny travel quotes from TV

Not forgetting TV.

“Sicily can be very seductive”. ― ‘That’s Amore’, The White Lotus , Season 2 (2022)

“I’m going to have to go into the map.” ― ‘The One With Ross’s Wedding’, Friends , Season 4 (1998)

“You go to St. Tropez to party, not to work. It’s like going to Ibiza to do your taxes.” ― ‘Do You Know the Way to St. Tropez?’ Emily in Paris , Season 2 (2021)

Funny travel quotes from books

Bookworms and bibliophiles, these will give you something to giggle over. 

“Queuing is a rarity in India but if you are the next in line, you do not stand behind the person being served. You stand next to him. If possible, you stand next to him with one elbow lightly touching his ribs, so that when he moves you are guaranteed your spot.” ― Monisha Rajesh, Around India in 80 Trains

“I think the world divides neatly into those who are excited by the managed induction of terror and those who are not. I do not find terror exciting : I find it terrifying.” ― David Foster Wallace, A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again

“It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing – I used to be a good boy.” ― Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad

“Being an immigrant is not for the admin-phobic.” ― Helen Russell, The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World’s Happiest Country

“Go back?” he thought. “No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” ― J. R. R. Tolkein, The Hobbit 

Funny travel quotes from Bill Bryson

The eternal expat himself, Bill Bryson deserves his own segment.

“I sat thinking what an odd thing tourism is. You fly off to a strange land, eagerly abandoning all the comforts of home and then expend vast quantities of time and money in a largely futile effort to recapture the comforts you wouldn’t have lost if you hadn’t left home in the first place.” ― Bill Bryson, Neither Here nor There: Travels in Europe

“Suddenly, in the space of a moment, I realized what it was that I loved about Britain . Every last bit of it, good and bad – Marmite, village fetes, country lanes, people saying ‘mustn’t grumble’ and ‘I’m terribly sorry but’, people apologizing to me when I conk them with a nameless elbow, milk in bottles, beans on toast, haymaking in June, stinging nettles, seaside piers, Ordnance Survey maps, crumpets, hot-water bottles as a necessity, drizzly Sundays – every bit of it.” ― Bill Bryson, Notes from a Small Island

*Experience these phenomena in the Peak District , Lake District , and the Yorkshire Dales *

 “I was heading to Nebraska. Now there’s a sentence you don’t want to say too often if you can possibly help it.” ― Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent: Travels in Small-Town America

*Check out alternative US travel destinations *

Funny travel quotes from articles

Closing with some travel stories worth a read for their wit.

“ We had unpacked and gone down into the lobby for a cocktail when it happened. The rain had begun. It rained all night, and all day, and all night again. This was not mild, polite British rain, but a rumbustious, glutinous, violent downpour in the dark, soon accompanied by lightning and thunder which, again, went on interminably, like hours of strobe lighting followed by aerial bombing .” ― Hanif Kureishi, The Guardian

“No, there’s nowt fancy on ferries. They are classless places, for all sorts. This is something you can take in at your leisure, as ships are the only mode of transit I can think of on which you can take a proper stroll.” ― Adrian Chiles, The Guardian

223 Funny Travel Quotes to Put A Smile On Your Face

• Quotes , Travel Tips
• November 18, 2020 November 18, 2020
• 19 min read

Humor will help you transform a bad day, cheer you up and keep you going. That’s one reason we love these funny quotes and wanted to pick some for you.

We hope you enjoy, smile, love and share these funny quotes.

A Full List of Funny Travel Quotes

Let’s start this list of funny travel quotes with a quote Matt likes to use.

1. “Forget champagne and caviar – Taste the world instead!”– Hostelgeeks

2. Me: “I want to travel more”, the bank account: “”Like, to the park?”

3. “I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”

4. “Men to the left because woman are always right”.”

5. “The journey, not the arrival, matters.”– T. S. Eliot

6. “Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.”– The Dalai Lama

7. It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!

8. “Have a fun(tache)tic day!.”

9. “Most things in life people are worried about, never happen anyway!.”

10. “Never stop doing things for the first time.”

11. “I can’t control the wind but I can adjust the sail.”– Ricky Skaggs

12. “A journey is measured in friends rather than miles.”– Tim Cahill

13. “Do not follow where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”– Ralph Waldo Emerson

14.  “Laugh more, worry less!”

15. “I want to make memories all over the world.”

16. “If you are upset just think about a T-Rex trying to drink a Martini.”

17. “Don’t be a tourist, be a traveler.”

18. “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”

19. “If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal.”– Paulo Coelho

20. “Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a tan, fall in love, never return.”– Anonymous

21. “I’m in love with places I’ve never been to.”

22. “Free Boobs! Just kidding – Free Fruit!”– by Swanky Hostel , the 5 Star Hostel in Zagreb.

22. “When life knocks you down, roll over and look at the stars.”

23. “If you don’t belong, don’t be too long.”

24. “I need vitamin SEA.”

25.“The people who made you laugh are more beautiful than beautiful people.”

26. “People don’t take trips. . . trips take people.”– John Steinbeck

27. “Make salsa, not war!”

28. “I hate traveling, no traveler ever said”

29. “Don’t look for love. Look for good coffee!”

30. You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…

31. Life goal: Create a life that people assume you have anyway based on your instagram account!

32. “I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”– Caskie Stinnett

33. There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.

34. If traveling was free, BYE!

35. “I’ve got 99 problems. But I am on vacation and I am ignoring them all!”

36. “Worst thing about being a tourist, is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”– Russell Baker

37. “And then I went to the Sangria Familia…!”

38. “Jet Lag is for Amateurs”

39. “Work hard, travel harder”

40. I will conquer the world. Like, from here to the post box.

41. If travel would be free, you would never see me again. But it isn’t, so….what do we do tonight?

42. Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.– George Carlin

43. If you are going through hell, keep going.– Winston Churchill

44. A change of latitude would help my attitude.

45. Suitcases are for princesses!

46. “The best things in life are free. The 2nd best things are super expensive!”

47. “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.”– Susan Sontag

48.Reality called, so I hung up.

49.Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You Too? I thought I was the only one.”

50.Kinda classy, kinda hood.

51. I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!

52. I changed my password to incorrect. So whenever I forget my password, the login tells me, the password is incorrect.

53. Whenever you feel sad, remember, that somewhere in the world there is a guy pulling a door that says push.

54. All I want in life is pancakes!

55. “Live with no excuses and travel with no regrets.”

56. “The gladdest moment in human life, me thinks, is a departure into unknown lands.”

57. “Every day can be an adventure.”- Hostelgeeks

58. Stuck somewhere between “I need to save” and “you only live once”. 

59. Friend: Let’s go to Bora Bora. Me: Man, I wanna go, but I’m pora pora.

60. My favourite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays.

61. When you’re trying to save money for a house, but end up with a one-way ticket to some tropical island.

62. Me before vacation: “I’m going to be responsible with my money. This is a low budget trip. I’m gonna stay in a hostel and everything.”Me on vacation: *orders fancy drinks, rides a jetski, goes skydiving, buys souvenirs for the uncle’s new girlfriend and adopts an alpaca.*

63. I need a reasonably paid job. Something like $2000 an hour. Nothing too wild…

64. Me: “I want to travel more”, the bank account: “Like, to the park?”

65. If traveling was free, BYE!

66. I wish that road trips could pay my bills.

67. At the end of the day…I’d rather like to have a lot of stories to tell, than a full bank account.

68. I wish I was a postcard. For under $2 you can travel the world to any location in the world. 

69. Do you ever stress about money and then accidentally book another flight?

70. I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance. 

71, Backpacking is money spent on Education.

72. Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new year on a clean slate.

73. How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel.

74. I love when people say “just quit your job and travel.” Taking an Uber from the bar to my home is the only travel I can afford.

75. Go to work. Open computer. Scroll for plane tickets for 6 hours. Close computer. Go home.

76. I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!

77. Work tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.

78. Yeah, working is great…but have you tried travelling. 

79. There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.

80. Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito. 

81. Ironing boards are surfboards that gave up their dreams and got a boring job. Don’t be an ironing board.

82. Life is short. Call in sick and book that last minute flight. 

83. I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere.

84. I googled my symptoms. Turns out I just needed to go on a vacay.

85. I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach.

86. Everyone is pregnant, engaged or getting married. I just wanna lose weight and travel.

87. Forget champagne and caviar – Taste the world instead

88. I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine

89. I just want to travel the world, overspend at IKEA and drink coffee while cuddling puppies.

90. Friend 1: I’m getting a house. Friend 2: I’m having a baby. Friend 3: I’m getting married Me: I’m headed to the airport.

91. People having babies…and I’m like: What country am I going to next?

92. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just want a paycheck to buy plane tickets.

93. I don’t want a house. I just want to travel and pet a lot of dogs.

94. Screw the caviar, I want to travel the world!

95. Reality called, so I hung up.

96. I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year.

97. I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport.

98. I’ve got 99 problems. But I’m on vacation so I’m ignoring them all!

99. “You can’t buy happiness” Okay, explain travel then…

100. It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.

101. Travsessed (n.) An obsession with travel. When all you talk or think about is your past or future trips

102. Good things come to those, who book flights.

103. I heard an airplane passing overhead. I wished I was on it.

104. Tripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any travel trips currently booked.

105. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy plane tickets, which is kind of the same thing.

106. Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas and take your next trip in kilometers.

107. A coconut a day keeps the doctor away.

108. “Be strong”, I whisper to my WiFi signal

109. Jetlag is for amateurs

110. My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?

111. A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is.

112. Don’t speak the language. Already said 3 times “what”. Now just smile and nod and hope for the best.

113. Me travelling. Person: “Un Cafe?” Me: “Oui” Person: “Sucre” Me: “Non” Person: “You speak very good french” Me: “Gracias”

114. You’ve never felt true fear until your passport isn’t where you think you left it.

115. Have you ever stopped to think, maybe travel is addicted to me?

116. Education is important. But travel is importanter!

117. If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise.

118. Me thinking about how many flights I can book for the cost of a new iPhone 11 Pro.

119. Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland.

120. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m going. Are you coming with me?

121. That moment when you’re asked where you got something and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store.

122. Travelling is like a chocolate box. Don’t matter what you get. All is good.

123. Girls don’t wait for the prince anymore, they pack and travel the world.

124. All you need is love a passport.

125. I followed my heart and it led me to the airport. 

126. If you had to choose between true love or travelling the world, which country would you visit first? 

127. All I want for Christmas is you forever vacation.

128. Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.

129. Some people spend their life searching for “the one”. I’m just searching for the one good travel deal.

130. I’ve got a crush on the world.

131. I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel magazine!

132. Birds literally just eat, travel, and shit on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you, but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.

133. By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always travelling & comes to family events tipsy.

134. High five if you don’t know what you’re doing with your life and just want to travel the world.

135. I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories.

136. Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking Margaritas.

137. Be afraid. And do it anyway.

138. Can we just skip to the part in my life where I travel the world?

139. I just need a large coffee, a plane ticket and a bag full of cash. 

140. Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30 degree weather waiting outside for you.

141. I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon.

142. Live a life you don’t need a vacation from.

143. Work hard. Travel harder.

144. I need a holiday. And by “holiday” I mean I need to move away and find a job. On the beach. With cocktails. 

145. The temptation to go to the airport, buy a one-way ticket, leave the country and live on my own has never been so real.

146. Ladies, imagine this. It’s 15 years from now, and you have no kids. You’re the cool wine aunt that occasionally comes back to the country for a brief visit before leaving for another long exotic vacation. You have no commitments, and a suspicious amount of money.

147. Packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip. Unpacks 3 months after coming home.

148. Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.

149. Me: triple checked packing list Also me: *forgets underwear, contact solution, and favourite chapstick*.

150. Watches Netflix happily. Remembers you need to pack. Watches Netflix stressfully.

151. Me: I’m not going to overpack this time. Inner me: I need this. I will need that as well. I need everything.

152. Procrastapacking (n.) the act of thinking about packing a suitcase instead of actually doing it.

153. Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.

154. I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3 day vacation. Just in case.

156. So, do I live out of a suitcase for the next month? Do I unpack just to repack again? Do I put my toothbrush back in the bathroom? I’m a visitor in my own house what the heck.

157. My favourite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then find fun, flirty and exciting ways to not wear them while I’m away.

158. Normal life: Wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for 3-day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day so I’ll take 21 tops.

159. I have been to almost as many places as my luggage.

160. Me getting ready for vacation: manicure and pedicure, buy new Sephora products, spray tan, get waxed, get hair done, work out for a month, live off kale and veggies, try on 30K swimsuits and cry in dressing rooms. Husband getting ready for vacation: packs a bathing suit, flip-flops, a T-shirt, and calls it a day.

161. Running to the gate is my cardio.

162. Airports: the only place where drinking 8 AM is socially acceptable.

163. The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost 17$.

164. A passport holder sounds like a great idea until you get to the airport and have to remove it 4 billion times.

165. Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you walk through “nothing to declare” at the airport.

166. I love those days when my only decision is window or aisle.

167. “Be right back…” Just running away from Monday and going straight to the airport.

168. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need a trip.

169. Vacation calories don’t count, right?

170. What’s that medical condition called where you constantly need to have a trip booked? 

171. Should I book another flight to go abroad? Brain: no. Wallet: no. Mom: no. Dog: no. Universe: no…I think I’m gonna book the flight.

172. You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.

173. TIP: You won’t get the holiday blues if you just keep booking holidays.

174. You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…

175. In desperate need of a full body massage, 4 days of sleep and a ticket to the Bahamas.

176. Can’t decide if I need a hug, an XL coffee, 6 shots of vodka, or 2 months of travel.

177. Travitude (n.) when you start to feel grumpy and sassy because you haven’t travelled in a while.

178. My mom watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.

179. “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russell Baker

180. “On a New York subway you get fined for spitting, but you can throw up for nothing.” – Lewis Grizzard

181. “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” – Steve Martin

182. “”I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.” –Bob Hope

183. “”Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.” – Dave Barry

184. “Two great talkers will not travel far together.” – Spanish Proverb

185. “When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” – Unknown

186. “Las Vegas is sort of how God would do it if he had money.” – Steve Wynn

187. “Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.”–Susan Sontag

188. “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” – Mark Twain

189. “You and I come by road or rail, but economists travel on infrastructure.” – Margaret Thatcher

190. “The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.” – Henry David Thoreau

191. “You want to know what it’s like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don’t stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breath your own air over and over and over.” –Lewis Black

192. “Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.” – Al Bolisk

193. “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” – Andre Guide

194. “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them”. –Mark Twain

195. “The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.” – Britney Spears

196. “In America, there are two classes of travel— first class, and with children.” –Robert Benchley

197. “I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.” – Hilaire Belloc

198. “Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversations.” – Elizabeth Drew

199. “Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature.” – Helen Keller

200. “Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.” – Jim Gaffigan

201. “A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.” –Emile Ganest

202. “You know you’re in India when you hear yourself telling your driver as he is backing up, “Careful, there is a cow behind you.” – Lydia Ramsey

203. “Travelling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station. ” – Lisa St. Aubin de Teran

204. “It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, ‘As pretty as an airport.” – Douglas Adams

205. “Adventure, yeah. I guess that’s what you call it when everybody comes back alive.” – Mercedes Lackey

206. “Los Angeles is where you go when you want to be somebody. New York is where you go when you are somebody. Miami is where you go when you want to be somebody else.” – Billy Corben

207. “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra

208. “Don’t worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz

209. “There is nothing safer than flying – it’s crashing that is dangerous.” – Theo Cowan

210. “The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling

211. “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” – Al Gore

212. “If you are going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill

213. “When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable.” – Clifton Fadiman

214. ” is the tiniest food I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Any kind of meat that you get – chicken, steak, anything – has grill marks on each side, like somehow we’ll actually believe there’s an open-flame grill in the front of the plane.” – Ellen DeGeneres

215. “A good holiday is one that is spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.” – J.B. Priestley

216. “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin

217. “Bizarre travel plans are dancing lessons from God.” – Kurt Vonnegut

218. “I kept my babies fed. I could have dumped them, but I didn’t. I decided that whatever trip I was on, they were going with me. You’re looking at a real daddy.” – Barry White

219. “People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” – Dagobert D. Runes

220. “If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.” – James Michener

221. “I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.” –Guy Clark

222. “If you think adventure is dangerous, try routine; it’s lethal.” – Paulo Coelho

223. “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux

It’s not a matter of where, but when. Time is precious and my time spent living and experience the cultures of this world is what I lust for. This is why I created this website, to share true, genuine experiences and not just typical touristy info. Travel, the love of coffee , and food!

131 Best Funny Travel Quotes

Want to know all the best funny travel quotes we’ve got you covered with all of our favorites.

I’ve scoured the internet for all the best funny travel quotes.

Here’s what I found.

Planning A Trip? Use Our Favorite Resources Below!

 Accommodations

  Tours/Experiences

  Flights

  Car Rentals

Top 10 Funny Travel Quotes

1. “Reality called, so I hung up.” – Anonymous

2. “I love my job, only when I’m on vacation.” – Anonymous

3. “Plane tickets are the answer. Who cares what the question is.” – Anonymous

4. “I would totally give up travel, but I’m not a quitter.” – Anonymous

5. “My favorite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays.” – Anonymous

6. “This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of Covid. Normally I don’t go because I’m poor.” – Anonymous

7. “I’ve got 99 problems. But I’m on vacation, so I’m ignoring them all.” – Anonymous

8. “If you had to choose between true love or traveling the world, which country would you visit first?” – Anonymous

9. “I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach.” – Anonymous

10. “My mom watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.” – Anonymous

Funny Travel Quotes By Famous Authors

11. “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux

12. “I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” – Mark Twain

13. “A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” – John Steinbeck

14. “I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal.” – Jarod Kintz

15. “I travel light but not at the same speed.” – Jarod Kintz

16. “I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.” – Caskie Stinnett

17. “Spain travel tip: if bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way.” – Dave Barry

18. “Backpacking is the art of knowing what not to take.” – Sheridan Anderson

19. “The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts.” – Anthony Price

20. “Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.” – Meaghan O’Connell

21. “Road trips require a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes – oh, and directions.” – Jenn McKinlay

22. “It’s only quarantine if it’s in the quarante province of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling isolation.” – Vikram Paralkar

23. “A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places.” – Tom Lichtenheld

24. “What’s the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don’t yield to them?” – P.G. Wodehosue

Funny Travel Quotes By Other Notable Names

25. “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.” – George Carlin

26. “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” – Steve Martin

27. “A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.” – Chelsea Handler

28. “I have been to almost as many places as my luggage.” – Bob Hope

29. “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” – Al Gore

30. “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” – Jerry Seinfeld

31. “There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.” – Orson Welles

32. “Don’t worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz

33. “I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” – Henry Youngman

34. “I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.” – Guy Clark

35. “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” – Russel Baker

36. “There is nothing safer than flying, it’s crashing that is dangerous.” – Theo Cowan

37. “Vacation resort rule number one: apparently, if you place a towel on a chair, you own said chair forever.” – Mike Scully

38. “The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.” – Desmond Morris

Our Favorite Long Funny Travel Quotes

39. “My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumble a few unintelligible words then before I know it I’m thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.” – Dennis Miller

40. “Me before vacation: I’m going to be responsible with my money. This is a low budget trip. I’m gonna stay in a hostel and everything. Me on vacation: orders fancy drinks, rides a camel, goes skydiving, buys souvenirs for the uncle’s new girlfriend and adopts an alpaca.” – Anonymous

41. “Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland.” – Anonymous

Funny Travel Quotes In Five Words Or Less

42. “Adventure without risk is Disneyland.” – Douglas Coupland

43. “Jet lag is for amateurs.” – Dick Clark

44. “Vacation calories don’t count right?” – Anonymous

45. “I need Vitamin Sea.” – Anonymous

46. “If traveling was free… bye.” – Anonymous

47. “Work hard. Travel harder.” – Anonymous

48. “I’m not lost, I’m exploring.” – Anonymous

49. “Life’s a beach.” – Anonymous

50. “Work, save, travel, repeat.” – Anonymous

Funny Travel Quotes In Ten Words Or Less

51. “I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!” – Anonymous

52. “All I want for Christmas is you forever vacation.” – Anonymous

53. “Backpacking is money spent on education.” – Anonymous

54. “You can’t buy happiness. Okay, explain travel then…” – Anonymous

55. “Get ready, (jet) set, and go.” – Anonymous

56. “It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.” – Anonymous

57. “Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?” – Anonymous

58. “I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.” – Anonymous

59. “travel – because money returns, time doesn’t.” – Anonymous

60. “This is my resting beach face.” – Anonymous

61. “A change of latitude would help my attitude.” – Anonymous

62. “Let’s wander where the WiFi is weak.” – Anonymous

63. “Live a life you don’t need a vacation from.” – Anonymous

64. “You don’t like the outdoors? Unbe-leaf-able.” – Anonymous

65. “Don’t make me slap you with my flip flop.” – Anonymous

66. “A coconut a day keeps the doctor away.” – Anonymous

67. “Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.” – Anonymous

68. “Running to the gate is my cardio.” – Anonymous

69. “I wish that road trips could pay my bills.” – Anonymous

70. “No wifi out here, but I found a better connection.” – Anonymous

One Sentence Funny Travel Quotes

71. “The temptation to go to the airport, buy a one-way ticket, leave the country and live on my own has never been so real.” – Anonymous

72. “Can’t decide if I need a hug, an XL coffee, 6 ounces of vodka, or 2 months of travel.” – Anonymous

73. “You’ve never felt true fear until your passport isn’t where you think you left it.” – Anonymous

74. “Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of drugs and an animal carcass as you walk through ‘nothing to declare’ at the airport.” – Anonymous

75. “I feel like most of my problems could be solved with a trip to… well, anywhere.” – Anonymous

76. “High five if you don’t know what you’re doing with your life and just want to travel the world.” – Anonymous

77. “By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling and comes to family events tipsy.” – Anonymous

78. “I just need a large coffee, a plane ticket, and a bag full of cash.” – Anonymous

79. “Tip: You won’t get the holiday blues if you just keep booking holidays.” – Anonymous

80. “When you’re trying to save money for a house, but end up with a one-way ticket to some tropical island.” – Anonymous

81. “I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories.” – Anonymous

82. “If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I’m a size window seat in plane tickets.” – Anonymous

83. “When traveling with someone, take large doses of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee.” – Anonymous

84. “How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel.” – Anonymous

85. “Airports: the only place where drinking at 8 am is socially acceptable.” – Anonymous

86. “Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.” – Anonymous

87. “That moment when boarding is complete and the seat next to you is empty.” – Anonymous

88. “Can we just skip to the part of my life where I travel the world?” – Anonymous

89. “Getting out of bed would be 10x easier if there was a Caribbean ocean and 30-degree weather waiting outside for you.” – Anonymous

90. “I wish I had never gone traveling, said no one ever.” – Anonymous

91. “That moment when you’re asked where you got something and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store.” – Anonymous

92. “I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords.” – Anonymous

93. “Do you ever stress about money and then accidentally book another flight?” – Anonymous

94. “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy plane tickets – which is kind of the same thing.” – Anonymous

95. “Stuck somewhere between ‘I need to save’ and ‘you only live once’.” – Anonymous

96. “You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driver’s license.” – Anonymous

97. “I love those days when my only decision is window or aisle.” – Anonymous

98. “There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.” – Anonymous

99. “I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel magazine.” – Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Travel Quotes

100. “I need a holiday. And by holiday I mean I need to move away and find a job. on the beach. with cocktails.” – Anonymous

101. “I don’t want a house. I just want to travel and pet a lot of dogs.” – Anonymous

102. “Ironing boards are surfboards that gave up their dreams and got a boring job. Don’t be an ironing board.” – Anonymous

103. “I love when people say ‘just quit your job and travel’. Taking an Uber from the bar to my home is the only travel I can afford.” – Anonymous

104. “My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?” – Anonymous

105. “Traveling is like a chocolate box. Don’t matter what you get. All is good.” – Anonymous32. “Should I book another flight to go abroad? Brain: no. Wallet: no. Mom: no. Dog: no. Universe: no. Me: I think I’m gonna book the flight.” – Anonymous

106. “Some people spend their life searching for ‘the one’. I’m just searching for the one good travel deal.” – Anonymous

107. “Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.” – Anonymous

108. “Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on the beach drinking margaritas.” – Anonymous

109. “You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.” – Anonymous

110. “Me: ‘I want to travel more’, the bank account: ‘like, to the park?'” – Anonymous

111. “Me: triple-checked packing list. Also me: forgets underwear, contact solution, and favorite chapstick.” – Anonymous

112. “Packs two hours before leaving for a trip. Unpacks three months after coming home.” – Anonymous

113. “Work tip: stand up. stretch. take a walk. go to the airport. get on a plane. never return.” – Anonymous

114. “Normal life: wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for a 3 day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day, so I’ll take 21 tops.” – Anonymous

115. “I wish I was a postcard. For under $2 you can travel the world to any location in the world.” – Anonymous

116. “I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.” – Anonymous

117. “I googled my symptoms. Turns out I just needed to go on a vacation.” – Anonymous

118. “The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost $17.” – Anonymous

119. “Birds literally just eat, travel, and make a mess on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you, but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.” – Anonymous

120. “Friend: let’s go to Bora Bora. Me: Man, I wanna go, but I’m pora pora.” – Anonymous

121. “I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just want a paycheck to buy plane tickets.” – Anonymous

122. “Tripophobia (n.) the fear of not having any travel trips currently booked.” – Anonymous

123. “Not all who wander are lost. They’re just looking for coffee.” – Anonymous

124. “Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito.” – Anonymous

125. “Life is short. Call in sick and book that last minute flight.” – Anonymous

126. “I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding, I’m on the road to the airport.” – Anonymous

Miscellaneous Funny Travel Quotes

127. “When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.” – Susan Heller

128. “Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by stark moments of terror.” – Al Boliska

129. “I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.” – Michael LeRoux

130. “Forget champagne and caviar – taste the world instead.” – Hostelgeeks

131. “It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing please do not read this notice.” – A hotel in Tokyo

More Inspirational Quotes To Inspire Your Future Travels

If you’re looking for more inspirational quotes to fuel your future travels, than just funny travel quotes, we’ve got you covered.

Couples Travel Quotes

If you’re going on your honeymoon, baby moon, or just love to travel as a couple together, these quotes are for you.

Road Trip Quotes

Are you looking to head out on the open road? These road trip quotes are for you.

Conclusion: Funny Travel Quotes

I hope you enjoyed these funny travel quotes and that they brightened your day as you plan your future travels.

Explore more travel quotes on Pinterest .

The post 131 Best Funny Travel Quotes appeared first on Discovering Hidden Gems .

30 Best Funny Travel Quotes

By: Author Tim Kroeger

Posted on September 15, 2023

Embark on a laughter-filled journey with our “30 Best Funny Travel Quotes” list! From sarcastic takes to hilarious insights, we cover all your travel moods. Perfect for vacation inspiration or sharing laughs with friends. Discover the lighter side of travel now!

Welcome to the ultimate compendium of “Funny Travel Quotes,” a treasure trove that promises to make your sides split while fueling your wanderlust.

If you’ve ever muttered, “I need a vacation quotes funny,” under your breath while daydreaming of a hilarious escape, this collection is for you.

Whether you’re in the market for sarcastic travel quotes funny enough to make even a TSA agent chuckle, or simply seeking some travel meme inspiration to spice up your Instagram feed, we’ve got you covered.

Ah, yes, the joys of going away with your squad! Our curated list also features travel-with-friends quotes funny enough to reflect the chaos and beauty of hitting the road with your favorite people.

And let’s not forget those moments when you’re actually on vacation, and you realize the comedic goldmine you’ve just walked into; for those moments, we present our funny going-on vacation quotes and vacation funny quotes.

After all, what’s travel without a little laughter?

So buckle up, because it’s time to embark on a journey through fun travel quotes that’ll make your day and maybe even inspire your next great adventure—with a side of humor, of course.

In the spirit of belly laughs and boarding passes, we bring you this one-stop-shop for all things witty and wanderlust-filled: funny vacation quotes included!

Table of Contents

1. “Make salsa, not war!”

2. “I hate traveling; no traveler ever said.”

3. “I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”

– Caskie Stinnett

4. I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”

5. “My favorite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays.”

6. “Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a tan, fall in love, never return.”

– Anonymous

7. “The journey, not the arrival, matters.”

– T. S. Eliot

8. “Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.”

– The Dalai Lama

9. “I can’t control the wind but I can adjust the sail.”

– Ricky Skaggs

10. “I need vitamin SEA.”

More Funny Travel Quotes

11. “I wish I was a postcard. For under $2, you can travel the world to any location in the world.

12. “You don’t like the outdoors? Unbe-leaf-able.”

13. “Work, save, travel, repeat.”

14. “People don’t take trips. . . trips take people.”

– John Steinbeck

15. “When life knocks you down, roll over and look at the stars.”

16. “I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.” –Bob Hope

17. “Ironing boards are surfboards that gave up their dreams and got a boring job. Don’t be an ironing board.”

18. “Vacation calories don’t count. Right?”

19. “I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just want a paycheck to buy plane tickets.”

20. “Everyone is pregnant, engaged, or getting married. I just wanna lose weight and travel.”

Vacation Quotes Funny

21. “Get ready, (jet)set, and go.”

22. “Travel, because money returns. Time doesn’t.

23. Go to work. Open computer. Scroll for plane tickets for 6 hours. Close computer. Go home.

24. “Girls just wanna have sun.”

25. “I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel brochure.”

26. “If traveling was free… bye.”

27. “Nothing about this trip is plane.”

28. “Physically, I’m here. Mentally, I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito.”

29. “There should be sympathy cards for returning to work after vacation.”

30. “I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”

Frequently Asked Questions Funny Travel Quotes

Protect your trip: With all our travel experience, we highly recommend you hit the road with travel insurance! SafetyWing offers flexible & reliable Digital Nomads Travel Medical Insurance at just a third of the price of similar competitor plans.

What are funny travel quotes?

Funny travel quotes are humorous sayings that capture the lighter side of travel and vacation experiences. They often provide a comedic twist to the challenges and joys of traveling.

Why would someone want to read funny travel quotes?

Funny travel quotes can provide a mood lift, spark wanderlust, or offer a good laugh. They can also be great for social media captions or to share with friends and family before embarking on a journey.

Can these funny travel quotes be used for social media?

Definitely! These quotes are perfect for spicing up your Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook feed, especially when looking for travel meme inspiration or catchy captions.

More Inspirational Quotes

Funny Travel Quotes

Flight & Aviation Quotes

Mountain Quotes

Beach Quotes and Ocean Quotes

Mark Twain Travel Quotes

Adventure Quotes

Short Travel Quotes

Inspiring Waterfall Quotes

Romantic Couple Travel Quotes

Anthony Bourdain Travel Quotes

Family Vacation Quotes

• About the Author

Tim Kroeger is a seasoned professional in International Tourism Management, specializing in Luxury Adventure Travel , Luxury Hotel Reviews , and Tourism in Costa Rica .

Expertises: International Tourism Management, Tourism in Costa Rica, International tourism advertising, Adventure travel, Luxury Adventure Travel

Leave a comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

113 Travel And Vacation Jokes & Puns For Your Next Trip

Niklas Forstreuter

• March 25, 2024

Get ready to laugh out loud at these funny travel jokes, vacation puns, and hilarious one-liners about traveling. Some are simple and a bit cringy, while others take a bit longer to figure out, but you’re guaranteed to find your new favorite on this complete list.

Keep yourself and your loved ones entertained on your next vacation with these hilarious travel jokes and puns, which will make you smile.

This post may contain affiliate links, which means we’ll receive a commission if you purchase through our links at no extra cost to you. This helps us keep Guide Your Travel free and provide high-quality content for you. Please read the full disclaimer for more information.

Best jokes about travel

Here are the best jokes about travel, with hilarious plane situations, road trip jokes, and much more.

1. “While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered, and Mr. Benson looked out the window. “Good lord!” he screamed, “one of the engines just blew up!” Other passengers left their seats and came running over. Suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn’t maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attached the package to their back. “Hey,” spoke up an alert passenger, “aren’t those parachutes?” The pilot said they were. The passenger went on, “But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?” “There isn’t,” replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. “We’re going to get help”

2. “Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies – two in the front seat and three in the back – eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?” “Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.” “Slower than the speed limit?” she asked. No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly: 22 miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly. The police officer, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. “But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask: Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time.” the officer asks. “Oh, they’ll be alright in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119”

3. “A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London, the cabbie explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412” The Texan replied, “Shoot, a little ol’ tower like that? In Houston, we’d have that thing up in two weeks!” Next they passed the House of Parliament – started in 1544 and completed in 1618. “Well, boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas, and it only took a year!” As they passed Westminister Abbey, the cabbie was silent. “Whoah! What’s that over there”, asked the Texan. The cabbie replies, scratching his head, “Now that, I don’t know; it sure wasn’t there yesterday!”

4. “One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get underway. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first, the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes, the engines start spooling up, and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the flight attendants for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment, the airplane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain: “You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream, and we are gonna get killed!”

5. My flight was delayed in Houston. Since the gate was needed for another flight, our aircraft was backed away from the terminal, and we were directed to a new gate. We all found the new gate, only to discover a third gate had been designated for our plane. Finally, everyone got on board the right plane, and the flight attendant announced: “We apologize for the gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., you should deplane at this time.” A moment later, a red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. “Sorry,” he said, “wrong plane.

6. Many years ago, a certain mountain man, by the name of Shorthorn Bill, had become a noted guide throughout Montana Territory. Regretfully, the territory became too hot to hold him, and Bill was forced to relocate to a cooler area. Having settled outside Denver, he again began working his trade, mainly with wealthy easterners who were passing through the city. On one adventure, it happened that Bill had a party of railroad men out on the high range and, as he was still new to the place, got the group hopelessly lost. After many days of travel, the party became angry. “You told us you were the best guide in Colorado,” they asserted. “I am,” replied Bill, “but I figure we’re in Wyoming now.”

7. Two women are on a transcontinental balloon voyage. Their craft is engulfed in fog, their compass gone awry. Afraid of landing in the ocean, they drift for days. Suddenly, the clouds part to show a sunlit meadow below. As they descend, they see a man walking his dog. One of the flyers yells to the figure far below, “Where are we?” The man yells back, “About a half mile from town.” Once again, the balloonists are engulfed in the mist. One flyer says to the other, “He must have been a lawyer.” The other says, “A lawyer! How do you know that?” The first says, “That’s easy. The information he gave us was accurate, concise, and entirely irrelevant”

8. An airline pilot with poor eyesight had managed to pass his periodic vision exams by memorizing the eye charts beforehand. One year, though, his doctor used a new chart that the pilot had never before seen. The pilot proceeded to recite the old chart and the doctor realized that she’d been hoodwinked. Well, the pilot proved to be nearly blind as a bat. But the doctor could not contain her curiosity. “How is it that someone with your eyesight can manage to pilot a plane at all? I mean, how for example do you taxi the plane out to the runway?”” “Well,” says the pilot, “it’s really not very hard. All you have to do is follow the instructions of the ground controller over the radio. And besides, the landmarks have all become quite familiar to me over the years.” “I can understand that,” replies the doctor. “But what about the take-off?” “Again, a simple procedure. I just aim the plane down the runway, go to full throttle, pull back on the stick, and off we go!” “But once you’re aloft?” “Oh, everything’s fully automated these days. The flight computer knows our destination, and all I have to do is hit the autopilot and the plane pretty much flies itself.” “But I still don’t see how you land!” “Oh, that’s the easiest part of all. All I do is use the airport’s radio beacon to get us on the proper glide path. Then I just throttle down and wait for the co-pilot to yell, ‘AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!’ pull the nose up, and the plane lands just fine!”

9. An attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced: “I don’t know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners.” When the passengers’ muttering had died down, she continued, “Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat will receive free drinks for the length of the flight.” Her next announcement came an hour later. “If anyone wants to change their mind, we still have 29 dinners available!”

10. “Leaving Washington D.C. for Richmond, I decided to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I went into the washroom. The first stall was taken, so I went to the second stall. I’d just sat down when I heard a voice from the next stall. Hi there, how’s it going?” Now, I’m not the type to strike up conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn’t know what to say, but finally I said, “Not bad…” Then the voice said, “So, what are you doing?” I thought that was kind of weird, but I said, “Well, I’m just going to the bathroom, then I’m headed back home.” The voice interrupted, “Look, I’m going to have to call you back. Every time I ask you a question, this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me!”

11. While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “Are there any gators around here?!” “Naw,” the man hollered back, “they ain’t been around for years!” “Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there, he asked the guy, “How’d you get rid of the gators?” “We didn’t do nothin’,” the beachcomber said. “The sharks got ’em.”

12. “One afternoon, this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake, a guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures for him to stop. The guy rolls down the window and says, “How can I help you?” “I am the red jerk of the highway. You got something to eat?” With a smile on his face, the guy hands a sandwich to the guy in red and drives away. Not even five minutes later, he comes across another guy. This guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side of the road and waving for him to stop. A bit irritated, our guy stops, cranks down the window, and says, “What can I do for you?” “I am the yellow jerk of the highway. You got something to drink?” Hardly managing to smile this time, he hands the guy a can of Coke, and stomps on the pedal, and takes off again. In order to make it to the lakeside before sunset, he decides to go faster and not to stop no matter what. To his frustration, he sees another guy on the side of the road, this one dressed in blue and signaling for him to stop. Reluctantly, our guy decides to stop one last time. He rolls down his window, and yells, “Let me guess. You’re the blue jerk of the highway, and just what the heck do you wanna have?” “Driver’s license and registration, please.”

13. There is a lot pilots have to take into account when flying safely across the sky: 1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory. 2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again. 3. Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous. 4. It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here. 5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. 6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating. 7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky. 8. A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again. 9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself. 10. You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp. 11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice-versa. 12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier. 13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds. 14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you’ve made. 15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. 16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck. 17. Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels them. 18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that’s going round and round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be. 19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. 20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment. 21. It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible. 22. Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed. 23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s not subject to repeal. 24. The four most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, gas back at the airport, and a tenth of a second ago. 25. There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no old, bold pilots.

14. “On vacation in Hawaii, my mother called a restaurant to make reservations for 7 PM. Checking her book, the cheery hostess said, “I’m sorry, all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?” “That’s fine,” Sandy said. “Okay,” the woman confirmed. Then she added, “Just be advised you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table.”

Best short travel jokes

Keep it short and sweet with these quick travel jokes, which are perfect for long plane rides and road trips.

15. I didn’t realize how bad of a driver I was until my satnav said, ‘In 100 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out.’

16. My favorite childhood memory is my parents paying for my holidays.

17. Do you ever stress about money and then accidentally book another flight?

18. Don’t fly on Peter Pan Airways. They neverland.

19. I get so tired of waking up and not being at the beach.

20. I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.

21. I love traveling to France. There’s nothing Toulouse.

22. Can’t decide if I need a hug, a dark coffee, 6 shots of vodka, or two months of travel.

23. Don’t worry if our old car breaks down on our trip through Canada. I have Triple Eh.

24. What do travelers like best about Switzerland? I’m not sure, but the flag’s a big plus.

25. I wish I were a postcard. For less than $2, you can travel the world!

26. I haven’t slept in days because I am about to climb the highest mountain in the world. I wonder whether I will Everest.

27. Should I go to work today? Or just book a 1-way ticket to Mexico?

28. Sure, working is great. But have you tried traveling?

29. I love when flies won’t leave my car on long road trips. Have fun moving to Kansas, tiny pest.

30. You’ve never felt true fear until your passport isn’t where you think you left it.

31. I want to go to Bora-Bora, but I’m too Pora-Pora.

32. My favorite trail mix includes songs from The Cranberries, Peanuts, and Eminem.

33. We are all-time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.

34. You can’t make everyone happy unless you’re a plane ticket.

35. I wonder how many miles I’ve scrolled with my thumb.

36. Me: I’d love to travel more. The bank account: Like, to the park?

37. Oceans are so friendly. They’re always waving at you.

38. I’m not too good at geography, but I can name at least one city in France. That’s Nice.

39. I don’t want to take my dog on road trips! He can be such a bark seat driver.

40. Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

41. When going to the bathroom in the woods, you have to use the facilitrees

42. I need six months of vacation twice a year.

43. I’m confused. The trail looked so flat on the map.

44. A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is?

45. The food on the small aircraft wasn’t good… it was a little plane.

46. I’ve got 99 problems, but I’m on vacation, so I’m ignoring them all!

Funniest travel jokes and puns

These travel puns and vacation jokes will make you chuckle and are the perfect dad jokes to keep you entertained on the plane.

47. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish? Swimming trunks.

48. How do crazy hikers get out of the forest? They take the psychopath.

49. Why don’t pirates travel on mountain roads? S’curvy.

50. Why did the coffee have a terrible vacation? It got mugged on the first day.

51. Why did nobody like the plane? It had a bad altitude.

52. What do you call a group of travelers who all speak different languages? A babble of tourists

53. Who invented the first airplane that couldn’t take off? The Wrong Brothers.

54. What travels all around the world but stays in one corner? A stamp.

55. Why did the shark hate its vacation in France? It wanted to go to Finland instead.

56. What happens when you cross a snake and a plane? You get a Boeing constrictor.

57. Want to know our plan for today’s hike? I’ll summit up nicely.

58. What’s worse than raining cats and dogs on vacation? Hailing taxi.

59. Why did the flight attendant apologize to the family of elephants? They were only allowed one trunk onboard.

60. Where do bees like to go on vacation? Stingapore

61. What do you call a cruise ship full of football players? A sportsman-ship

62. What goes through towns, up hills, and down hills but never moves? The road.

63. Which country has the most germs? Germany.

64. How much fun is it to do your laundry when traveling? Loads.

65. How do you know elephants love to travel? Because they always pack their trunk.

66. Which type of traveler is the most calm? The No-mad.

67. Why don’t aliens visit our planet? It has terrible ratings. Only one star.

68. How do fleas travel? They ‘itch hike.

69. What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Automobile.

70. What kind of sweets do they sell at the airport? Plane chocolate

71. Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Globi-Wan-Kenobi.

72. Why did the tired traveler go to Romania? So he could Buch-a-rest.

73. What do you call a time-traveling cow? Doctor Moo.

74. What sound does a bouncing airplane make? Boeing.

75. Where does a cow stay when it is on vacation? A moo-tel.

76. Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? Because it was overbooked.

77. How did the buffalo say goodbye to his son at the train station? Bison!

78. Where do pianists go on their vacation? The Florida Keys.

79. What do you get when you cross a plane with a magician? A flying sorcerer

80. Why did the travel agent want to go to the mountains for vacation? She said it was a peak experience.

81. Where do hamsters like to go on vacation? Hamsterdam.

82. Where do sheep like to go on vacation? The Baa-hamas.

83. here do honeybees use the bathroom on a long road trip? The BP station.

84. What did E.T.’s mother say to him when he got home? Where on Earth have you been?

85. What happens when you wear a watch on a plane? Time flies.

86. What’s gray and has four legs and a trunk? A mouse on vacation.

87. Why couldn’t the frog find where he parked his car? He’d been toad.

88. What happens if you take the five o’clock train home? You have to give it back.

89. Why can cutlery teleport but not time travel? It’s silverwhere, not silverwhen.

90. Where did the heart, liver, and kidney go on a road trip? Oregon.

91. What’s the favorite airline of an English stylist? British Hairways.

92. What does a clam like to do for vacation? Clamping.

93. What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.

94. What’s brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses? A coconut on vacation.

95. Where do pepperonis like to go on vacation? The Leaning Tower Of Pizza.

96. Do fish go on vacation? No, they’re always in school.

97. Why did the robot go on vacation? He needed to recharge his batteries.

98. What’s the best jacket to wear on a hike? A trail blazer!

99. What did the lazy baguette do on holiday? It just loafed around.

100. Where do eggs go on vacation? New Yolk City.

101. Why do witches stay in hotels? They heard they always have great broom service!

102. How do rabbits travel? By hare plane.

Funniest vacation jokes

Make your vacation funnier and more relaxed with these jokes and funny situations. Love to laugh? Here are our favorite jokes about Americans .

103. For my holidays last year, I threw a dart at a map of the world and decided to go to wherever it landed. I had a fantastic two weeks behind the fridge.

104. “A hungry traveler stopped at a monastery and was taken to the kitchen where a brother was frying chips. “Are you the friar?” he asked. The brother replied, “No. I’m the chip monk.”

106. I bought a world map for my wall, and I’m going to put a pin in all the places I travel to. I’m going to have to travel to the top two corners of the map first to stop it from falling down.

107. Traveling through the Midwest, I stopped at an Ohio welcome center to pick up a state map. I found plenty of brochures but no maps. Then I spotted two employees and asked whether they had any. “Sure,” said the first guy. “I’ll get you one.” As he walked to the back, the second guy explained, “We keep them in the storage room. If we leave them out on the counter, people just come in and take them.

108. A husband and wife packed their suitcases in a rush and made it to the airport just in time. “I wish I’d brought the refrigerator,” said the wife. “Whatever for?” asked her husband. “Our tickets are on top of it.”

109. “A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if it has any luggage. The photon says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

110. A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 AM and got into Chicago at 8:33 AM. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Ilinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

111. A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve been to China many times and never had to have one of those.” I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this, he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times, and every time they have accepted my American Express.”

112. With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it’s only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy’s truck leaves him too. Halfway between Boston and New York City, the train’s engine fell silent. “I’ve got good news and bad news,” the conductor announced. “The bad news is we lost power.” Everyone on the train groans. “The good news,” he added, “is we weren’t cruising at 30,000 feet.”

113. My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I’m paid to travel You should see my my dates’ faces when I tell them I’m a bus driver!

More Instagram caption ideas

If you’re looking for Instagram captions and quotes about places around the US, you’ll love these posts. Click on one of the buttons below to read our other quote guides.

Here are more quotes about places around the world.

You might also enjoy our more general Instagram caption posts about travel styles and much more. Here are the best quotes about:

Keep yourself entertained while you travel with these joke guides.

Did I miss anything? If you have any questions or feel like something is missing from this post, please leave a comment below or  contact me .

My most important travel tips and resources

Book your flights Skyscanner is the best website for finding cheap flights since it works like a search engine, so you can find the best deals across all airlines. Book hotels and hostels • Booking.com : Best worldwide • Agoda : Best in South East Asia • Hostelworld : Best for hostels Book tours, transport and rental cars • Viator : The best place to book tours, day trips and excursions for all budgets • 12Go : Great for ferries, trains, transfers and buses in South East Asia • Discover Cars : Best deals for rental cars around the word Get travel insurance Every traveller needs travel insurance, and I mean every single one. SafetyWing covers you in case of injury, illness or worse, and they’ve got your back if your bag is stolen, flights are cancelled or in case of a natural disaster. Pay abroad Ask any traveller, Wise is the best choice when it comes to sending money abroad. They’ve always got the best exchange rates, lowest fees, and their visa card is great for getting cash out or paying abroad. Things every traveller needs: ➼ Osprey Farpoint 70 Backpack Detachable daypack, ultra-light, durable and free repairs for life. There’s a reason why so many backpackers have this bag. ➼ Packing Cubes Packing cubes are a gamer changer, keeping your luggage organised and providing tons of extra space. ➼ Power bank There is nothing worse than running out of battery on an overnight bus journey or a long flight. With a power bank, you can charge your electronics on the go and make sure you’re always connected. ➼ Micro-fibre towel These lightweight towels are foldable, fast-drying, and, so useful when you’re travelling. ➼ You can find 15 more things every traveller needs here . Some might be a bit controversial, but I warned you!

Welcome to Guide your Travel!

Hi! I’m Victoria, a travel blogger from Germany and the author of Guide your Travel. I write about my favourite destinations in Europe, South East Asia and digital nomad life in Bali.

Click the icons below to follow us on social media

Join the family!

Enter your email below for our weekly newsletter and up-to-date news in Bali

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Notify me of follow-up comments by email.

Notify me of new posts by email.

Hi, I'm Victoria

Welcome to Guide your Travel – a blog about South East Asia and how to travel on a budget.

I’m a blogger, writer and photographer and love to introduce my favourite destinations to others and encourage them to see the world.

I’m originally from Germany but spent four years living in the UK, quite a bit of time in Spain and Malaysia, and am now travelling full time with a home base in Bali, Indonesia.

Work with me!

Popular Posts

21 Unusual Things To Do In Yogyakarta & Hidden Gems

Mont Saint-Michel Complete Guide – All You Need To Know

Where To Find Turtles At The Beach In Gili Trawangan

Batu Caves Kuala Lumpur Ultimate Guide (Price, Hours, Tips)

19 Cheap Places to Eat in KLCC, Kuala Lumpur

22 Fun And Unique Things To Do In San Sebastian, Spain

7 Secret Bars In Kuala Lumpur And How To Find Them

Ultimate Porto Travel Guide – All You Need To Know

Beginner Guide To Using A Polariser/Polarising Filter

15 Sustainable Travel Products To Take On Your Next Trip

19 Things To Do In Kuala Lumpur And 6 You Should Skip

How To See The Sunrise At Borobudur In Yogyakarta

View posts by countries.

Explore my favorite places by clicking one of the countries below

Guide Your Travel

© 2024 Guide Your Travel – All Rights Reserved.

Quick Links

Destinations, subscribe to our email newsletter.

16 Short Funny Travel Stories That’ll Make You Laugh Out Loud

These short funny travel stories are sure to make you laugh!

From crazy travel stories involving bathroom mishaps to funny stories about language barriers to wild travel stories that take you on safari, this list is sure to make you chuckle.

I’ve even included a video sharing about my strangest Couchsurfing experience!

Before scrolling, I recommend grabbing your favorite beverage and getting comfortable, as we’ve got 16 fun travel stories below to help put a smile on your face.

After reading these funny true stories, feel free to share your own best travel stories in the comments below!

Table of Contents

Short Funny Travel Stories — That Are Also True!

1. file under embarrassing travel stories.

One of my most embarrassing funny stories happened while I was backpacking South America — specifically during a 4×4 tour from San Pedro de Atacama in Chile to Uyuni, Bolivia.

The trip takes you through the desert for three days to see otherworldly sites like hot pink lagoons where flamingos search for food, an abandoned train graveyard, and, the highlight, the world-famous Uyuni Salt Flats.

During the trip, you share a car with four or five other people.

At one point, I was sitting in the front seat and it was getting really hot in the car. Our driver didn’t speak English, but I spoke decent Spanish — or at least I thought I did.

“Estoy caliente!” I said, looking right at the driver. To my confusion, instead of rolling down a window, he looked horrified…or maybe confused?

I decided it was probably my New York accent confusing him. “Estoy caliente!” I said again, this time in what I thought was a more local-sounding accent. He looked even more horrified-slashed-confused.

Suddenly, the one native Spanish speaker in the car spoke up from the back:

“Umm, I’m assuming you’re not meaning to tell the driver you’re horny, right?”

Apparently, the way I was saying “I’m hot” literally translated to, well, another meaning of the phrase. As I turned bright red, I decided I didn’t really need the window open and would just sit in silence and try to disappear by melting in the car seat.

But hey, when it comes to learning a language while traveling, embarrassing mistakes can certainly be a great teacher. Plus, I can add this to my list of hilarious vacation stories to share at parties.

-Jessie Festa, Jessie on a Journey

2. My Craziest Couchsurfing Story

Here is one of my most interesting travel experience stories .

For this anecdote, which is part funny travel story and part horror travel story , you’ll have to watch the video below:

One of my favorite funny travel videos

By the way, if you like crazy and funny travel story videos like this one, make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel and hit the bell icon so you get notified when future videos publish.

I’ve already got a few more short travel stories recorded and scheduled to come out over the next few weeks!

3. An Unpleasant Night With Bob Marley

My funny travel experience happened during a trip to Morocco in 2015, when my husband and I spent a couple of days in the Sahara Desert as part of a tour group.

I was super excited to ride a camel for the first time and spend a night in a Bedouin tent in the desert. Little did I know that I was about to experience the longest and most unpleasant night of my life.

Our camel ride started with me hanging upside down from the saddle with one foot in the air. My camel, Bob Marley, had decided to stand up before I could settle into the saddle.

I held onto the saddle for dear life as our Bedouin guide pushed me up onto the camel’s back. Bob Marley let out a grunt of disapproval, and we rode off. I thought I was in for a bumpy ride; but save for the fact that the camel in front of me, named after Jimi Hendrix, was having a bad case of gas, it turned out to be a very pleasant journey.

After dinner and some impromptu drumming around a bonfire, my husband and I retreated to our tent for a good night’s sleep. Our bed was just a mattress on the carpeted ground.

Despite cocooning myself in a couple of thick blankets, I was shaking from head to toe. My husband fell asleep straight away, and so did the other people in our group — judging by the cacophony of snores that filled the air.

Two hours later, I was still wide awake — and freezing cold.

Thankfully, the snoring started to subside and I gradually drifted into dreamland, only to be jolted out of my sleep by a very loud and unusual noise. It sounded like a bellow and was followed by a very awful smell.

I tried to go back to sleep, but someone or something started to chew loudly. And then another groan, another unpleasant smell, and more loud chewing. This went on for at least another two hours.

After what felt like a never-ending night, I checked the time. To my delight, it was time to get up to watch the sunrise. I stumbled out of our tent, grabbed a glass of freshly-brewed mint tea, and dragged my sleepy body out of the Bedouin camp.

There, stationed just outside the tent where my husband and I had spent the night, was Bob Marley, Jimi Hendrix, and the entire caravan. Bob Marley made direct eye contact with me, and I could swear I spotted a smug grin on his face.”

– Daniela from Grumpy Camel

4. Trying To Pee On A Bumpy Bus Ride

If you enjoy travel love stories , this trip tale from our honeymoon has a humorous twist.

While visiting Sapa, Vietnam on our honeymoon, we had to fly into the large city of Hanoi.

From Hanoi, we could have either taken a bus, a train, or a rental car up to Sapa. Because we are cheap, we decided to take the bus. Even further, we booked an overnight bus trip, so that we could save one night of accommodation booking.

We showed up at the bus station at 11:30 pm for our midnight departure, and everything was going well. We boarded the bus and got to our beds, which was a row of five plastic cots wide with no cushions. We did get a blanket, though, and settled in for the night on our uncomfortable beds.

At about 3:00 am, I woke up and had to pee. We were on the freeway, and the driver only spoke Vietnamese, so I couldn’t communicate the fact that I needed to pee.

In the commotion, the driver also noticed there was a payment issue with our booking, which my now-awake husband was trying to figure out.

I still had to go, and it was becoming an emergency. The bus was still rocking and rolling down the Vietnamese highway. It was 3:15 am, my bladder was bursting, and my new husband was trying to have a Google Translate conversation with the driver to figure out our booking.

I tried to get my pee emergency into the Google Translate conversation, with no luck. All I got was my husband giving me a bottle.

A soda bottle?! What was I supposed to do with that?! The mouth of that thing was the size of a thumb. I am not the Jason Bourne of pee-aiming.

Realizing my choices were non-existent, I tried to use the bottle. After some awkward maneuvering, I opened the floodgates and, as you might have guessed, peed all over my bed…and my husband’s.

Thankfully, the sound of the pee spraying on the plastic beds did not come to the attention of any of our neighbors or the bus driver. Or maybe he purposely ignored it.

After figuring out the booking issue, my husband scooched back into his bed only to realize that Lake Urine had formed in the middle of it.

After some shock and stifled laughter, we cleaned it up with one of our blankets, had an extremely uncomfortable three more hours of travel, and finally pulled into Sapa. We couldn’t get off that bus fast enough.

On the bright side, it’s one of our favorite funny stories about traveling to share.

– Zach and Julie from Ruhl of the Road

5. The Time I Had My Boobs Massaged In Morocco

Our favorite short funny story to share is all about massages and spa experiences in Morocco.

They are supposed to be tranquil, soothing, and calming. But what happens when you try to have a relaxing spa experience in another country without doing your research?

You could find yourself swimming in your underwear and having your boobs massaged, that’s what!

When my husband and I were in Morocco, we decided to go for a traditional Moroccan Hammam massage at our hotel…and all kinds of hilarity ensued!

First, we were asked to get undressed by the staff who only spoke French, so there were a lot of frantic hand gestures going on.

Then we were taken to a room where straightaway we could see a woman being rubbed down while completely naked.

No robes, no doors… just all kinds of naked. We were shocked and immediately started thinking: “Wait…is this what a hammam massage is like?”

Thankfully, not in our case, but it doesn’t get much better.

We’d worn our underwear because we actually thought we were just getting a pleasant back massage like in the UK.

We were wrong.

We were taken to a steam room where we were rubbed with mud in front of strangers and then asked to shower it off. Next, we found ourselves swimming in a saltwater pool. All of this while in our everyday underwear!

And then finally we got to the massage part where we were separated and I was asked to strip completely naked.

This was fine while lying on my front but then came the fateful word:

Yep, this was when I found myself having my boobs massaged by a total stranger!

Moral of the story:

Do your research. And don’t wear underwear to a Moroccan hammam massage. Go for swimming gear just to be on the safe side.

– Justine from Wanderers of the World

6. When Nature Calls, Literally

I have many funny short stories about travel, though one of my favorites to tell happened in the Serengeti.

Now, there are a lot of really awesome things about camping in the Serengeti:

It’s a relatively affordable way to go on safari. You meet other adventurous people. You’re camping in the freaking Serengeti! Like, hello, how cool?!

However, there may be one or two less-than-stellar things about this type of safari…like not knowing what’s outside your tent during the night.

Personally, I didn’t really want to come face-to-face with the hyenas — or anything else — that I knew could be out there. My method of avoidance came down to not drinking too much water during the day. Other than the bathroom, nothing could draw me out of my tent at night.

Well, one day I was thirsty and had more to drink than I should have.

The result?

You guessed it — I needed to pee pretty bad by about 3 am.

Let me take you back a few hours though, to the afternoon. We were making camp that night at a spot that was to be shared with some of the park rangers. Earlier in the day, the rangers had brought a goat to camp. I thought they were taking this goat further on their journey and I didn’t think about it past that.

Well, guess what the rangers had for dinner?

That night, from the safety of the tent, we could hear the hyenas munching away on the leftovers. It was gruesome.

It also meant that I absolutely knew the hyenas were in the camp, right between me and the bathroom. Well, by 3 am, I was desperate and cared less about the hyenas than about my bladder.

However, we’d been strongly warned not to go out by ourselves. So, I asked my friend if she wanted to go on an adventure. She said no and advised I go back to sleep.

I tried; I really did. An hour later, I asked her again, “Isa, want to go on an adventure?”

Her answer hadn’t changed.

Just behind our tent were the dining cabin and a small hill. I was desperate. Really, my bladder was going to explode. I went just behind the tent, right up to that hill, and did my thing.

After, I went back into the tent and didn’t stray anywhere close to where the campfire had been, and the hyenas currently were. I was safe! I didn’t get eaten or attacked by anything. Basically, I was Superwoman!

The next morning we were packing up our stuff to go on that day’s safari when our guide casually asked if we had heard the lions the night before.

Nope, we hadn’t heard them. Apparently, they’d been close.

Their lair?

Just on the other side of the small hill behind the camp.

This one definitely goes on my list of crazy yet funny adventure stories!

Lindsey in Moscow. Photo courtesy of Lindsey Puls.

7. Naked & Confused In Moscow

Naked and confused in Moscow? Yes, you read right. This is one of those funny vacation stories that you won’t forget…

I thought I knew all that there was to know about Russian banyas — until I found myself in Moscow, lying naked and sweating to death on a table in front of 12 other naked women of varying ages, who were all strangers to me, getting flogged with a couple of birch branches by a kind but very strong woman named Olga.

And I had actually paid for this beating. It’s all part of the experience!

In short, a banya is similar to a sauna. The biggest difference, though, is that a “banya” has high levels of humidity in it, while a sauna will have dry air. They’ve been a part of Russian life for over a thousand years.

Another interesting aspect of the Russian Banya is flogging using birch twigs ( venik ). This is supposed to benefit your health and improve your immune system, and honestly, if you have someone who knows what they are doing, it does feel really good.

I knew when I signed up for this that I would likely have to be naked for this flogging — I had done it before in a private bathhouse; however, this was my first time in a public banya, and I didn’t expect to be on display for the rest of the banya goers while it was happening! I was envisioning this to be a little more, ah, private?

But there I was, naked as the day I was born in front of everyone, getting smacked around by Olga as she shouted commands in Russian…which I imagine was something like, “Now, flip over! Raise your legs! Cover your boobs! Scoot your butt down further!”

Actually, though, I had no idea what she was saying. So, she gave up and just started pulling me and moving my naked body parts to where they needed to be — much to the amusement of everyone in the banya, who were not shy about their giggles!

Olga hit/massaged almost every square inch of my body with the branches. Then, once she was done, she led me by the hand to a shower area, sat me down, and threw a cold bucket of water over my head. And then a warm one, followed by another cold bucket. My body was thoroughly shocked after that!

Needless to say, this banya experience was a little less relaxing than my previous experiences with it; however, I still felt like a million bucks after it was done, and I will absolutely do it again.

– Lindsey from Have Clothes, Will Travel

8. A Short Story About Traveling That’s Out Of This World (Literally)

When the weather starts to warm up we love heading to the beach for a few days. Any beach really, though Miami holds a special place in our family’s hearts. We even have a favorite hotel by the beach that we always stay at.

During one such trip, after a few days of being lazy on the beach and spending way too much time walking the boardwalk, we decided to go for a drive.

We rented a car for the day and drove to Key West. Our plan was to enjoy a scenic drive on Highway 1 and maybe try some key lime pie and head back, but the day turned out to be more memorable than that.

It was a breathtaking drive and we kept our eyes glued to the window. The scenery was gorgeous and felt like we were driving over water.

Driving from Miami to Key West takes about three hours on the scenic coastal Overseas Highway. When we were closer to Key West, suddenly Mr. Suburbia — aka my husband — stopped the car, grabbed his camera, and ran out looking up at the sky — leaving me looking at him bewildered.

After a few minutes of looking and pointing at a shiny object in the sky, he was pretty thrilled to announce he’d spotted a UFO. I should mention here that hubby loves his Sci-Fi movies and UFO shows — the likes of Project Blue Book — and strongly believes we are not alone.

We eventually got back in the car, stopped at a nearby store, and asked someone in the parking lot:

“Do you see that shiny thing in the sky?”

The man looked up and casually responded, “Do you mean that weather blimp?”

We came to find out later that what we saw in the sky was “Fat Albert” or a version of the radar aerostat blimp that the US Drug Enforcement Administration uses to keep an eye on shipping hereabouts.

The shiny object in the sky was not an unidentified flying object or alien craft but a weather blimp. It is one of the short funny travel stories that always come up when we talk about our trips.

It starts with one of the kids saying “Remember the time when dad thought he saw a UFO…?” and always makes us laugh.

– Priya from Outside Suburbia

9. An Unpleasant Travel Experience With A Ghost Shrimp In Spain

When it comes to funny short travel stories, there is one I always love to tell.

A few years ago I had a wonderful trip to Andalucia, Spain, together with my family.

We spent hours road tripping to the best places in this region and enjoying Spanish culinary delights like fresh seafood and delicious produce. Grocery shopping at local markets was definitely a highlight of the trip.

To get around, we rented a car from a recommended company. We were lucky enough to receive a car of a better standard than what we ordered. It was a nicely-equipped van, with key-free unlocking, automatic doors, and a lot of space inside. Quite luxurious, I must say.

At one point during this one-week trip, we opened the door of our car and were met with a horrendous stench.  We almost passed out. Our first thought was that something must have died inside.

We noticed that the stench was coming from the trunk. It turned out that a little bit of liquid had escaped from the bag with fresh shrimps the evening before.

We tried to clean the trunk with cleaning supplies found in our rented apartment. Then we found out some homemade methods to remove the smell. Desperate, we even tried out a special freshener for domestic animal scents.

But, alas, the ghost of the dead shrimp was still there. For the rest of the trip, we drove with all of the windows open.

Before the last day, we headed to the gas station. I popped into the shop to look for car fresheners. My mom was more resolute and tried to have a conversation with the staff — note here that we’re Polish, and she can genuinely only say a few words in Spanish.

She pinched her nose, made a telling gesture, and said “car fish caput.” The service guy started to laugh but he luckily understood her. And after a short while, he came to our car with a huge specialist atomizer and sprayed all the interior. We were so grateful because the problem seemed to disappear.

But the awful smell came back the next day; the day of our departure.

Early in the morning, we left the apartment and headed to the car rental agency. We were stressed about what the agency’s employee would say about the smell and we were wondering if insurance would cover such an incident.

Luckily for us, the moment we locked the car on the agency parking while waiting for the service was the last time the car key-pilot worked. At that moment, the battery died. The car agency representative wasn’t able to open the car.

And because it was so early in the morning, the main office with the spare keys was still closed, and this guy was taking care of the parking only. He noticed we had purchased full car insurance and only asked if we refilled the gas tank.

When we returned home we found an email from the car rental agency with an appreciation note for using their services. So we assumed the weird smell was covered by the insurance. While back then we were embarrassed about that incident, we now look back at it with a smile.

Always purchase full insurance. You never know when a shrimp decides to escape.

– Dominika from Sunday in Wonderland

10. A Massage In An Unexpected Place

This is one of those stories that will make you laugh!

I worked in Beijing for many years. I used to go to a place called Dragonfly for massages, which I really liked. One time I was in an area of Beijing that I was not familiar with and wanted a massage.

The local Dragonfly was just too complicated and far away to get to, so I decided to go elsewhere and try something different.

I remembered I had seen what appeared to be a massage parlor a few blocks from where I was staying, and I walked over. The location didn’t look exactly like the type of spa place I was familiar with.

I guess that should have been my first warning.

It had pictures of smiling women in the window that I supposed were the various massage therapists. Flashing neon lights in blues and reds decorated the outside.

To be honest, I felt a tad apprehensive but thought that was just because I had never been there before. I know from experience that many times things might feel strange in unfamiliar cultures, but once you dive in, chances are you’ll discover a wonderful new experience or location, or a delightful food you never tasted before.

With this in mind, I went in.

Inside I tried to communicate that I wanted a massage to the woman attendant. I rubbed my shoulders with kneading fingers pantomiming a massage. She disappeared into a dark room and quickly returned with another woman who asked me something in Chinese.

I repeated my pantomime and the two women engaged in a long and animated conversation behind a beaded curtain. I couldn’t understand what the confusion was.

Finally, they led me to a small, dimly lit room with what I took to be a massage table in the middle. I disrobed and lay face down on the table as I normally would.

A woman came in and started to give me a massage. It wasn’t a great massage but certainly adequate. After an hour the woman indicated the massage was over and gave me a cup of green tea. I paid, gave the lady a tip, and went back to my hotel.

The next day was Monday. Everyone came into the office discussing their weekend. I told my colleagues about my massage.

“Oh! Don’t tell me you went all the way to Dragonfly?!” a colleague asked surprised. I explained my massage experience at the spa a couple of blocks away.

After identifying the exact location, they told me that was a high-end brothel. Everyone had a good laugh at my expense. I suppose they’re still laughing.

-Talek from Travels With Talek  

11. Hammock Hanging Newbie

One of my favorite funny short stories traveling happened when I spent a semester studying abroad in Cuba in 2009, which was actually my first international trip.

There are many beautiful things about Cuba, perhaps the best one being the peoples’ resilience and creativity in solving problems and getting by without having access to the things we take for granted.

I, in fact, had to learn some of that craftiness myself.

Not long after we arrived, I bought a hammock at an artisan market in Havana. I couldn’t wait to hang it up, and there was a perfect pair of trees on the grounds of the apartment-hotel where we were staying.

There was just one problem. I couldn’t find rope anywhere. I must have gone to five hardware stores. No rope to be found!

I ended up picking up some pieces of cloth and old electrical wires in a vacant lot. Now I thought I was good to go.

Back at the hotel, one of the security guards helped me out — thank goodness for the kindness of strangers — and I settled in with a Cuba Libre and my book to enjoy relaxing in the hammock for the first time. Until…

The cloth broke about 10 seconds later and I ended up on the ground covered in rum and Coke!

Along with my newfound security guard friend, we tried several more times to get it to stay hung, me falling on my butt several more times as well.

Two of my classmates apparently had quite the laugh watching from the window and had even taken a video of these failed attempts. Fortunately, that video got lost or erased somehow before it was shared with the whole group.

Undeterred, I ventured back out and found some thicker cables. With those, I finally succeeded in getting that hammock hung. I even carried it around much of the island and hung it on my porch back home in the US for years afterward with those same cables.

Lessons learned were that perseverance matters, always check your hammock is stable before trying to enjoy a drink in it, and if you’re unsure, make sure no one’s watching from the window!

– Adam from Cartagena Explorer

12. A Road Trip With A Resilient Mouse

Here is an adventurous trip story that takes place in Death Valley National Park, which my friends and I thought got its name because nothing lives there.

While cooking dinner in the campground, one of us had an idea to open all the car doors in the evening to release the stale air inside.

This didn’t turn out to be a very good idea.

The next morning, we packed everything up and got ready to discover other parts of Death Valley, when suddenly a mouse jumped on my legs!

“Boys, we have a mouse in the car!” I screamed.

My brother turned to me disbelievingly. “What are you talking about?!”

I got a similar gaze from Jakub, who nervously asked, “Are you sure?”

The mouse quickly disappeared, and I was left trying to get the rest of the group to believe me.

The truth came out the next morning, though. Jakub grabbed a pack of pasta and it started to spill all over the car trunk. The mouse must have bitten a hole in it.

Now they believed me, and we set off on a mission to rid the mouse from the car.

Our first plan was to download a number of mobile apps producing squeaky anti-mouse sounds. In the evening, we opened everything possible and turned on our phones to maximum volume. After a while, we were going crazy due to this terrible sound. The mouse, on the other hand, didn’t mind at all and, I can only imagine, quietly laughed at us.

In the morning, we found more mouse damage — a leaking barrel of water had soaked half of our things, and the mouse had eaten through my headphones. Plus, we were starting to worry about the car’s electricity.

We decided our next step was to go to Walmart for traps. Before heading to bed we carefully filled the traps with cheese and spread them evenly throughout the car, eager to see if we captured the mouse by morning.

Unfortunately, when we woke up they were empty — and we found more holes in our packed food. There was pasta everywhere!

It was clear that if there was enough food in the car, the traps wouldn’t be interesting for her.

On the other hand, we understood the mouse. She probably hadn’t seen that much food in her entire life in Death Valley and suddenly there was this huge banquet! What mouse wouldn’t want to explore such a rodent paradise?

She traveled with us over 600 miles before we got to Yosemite National Park. This journey brought new hope to our struggle.

Bears rob 130 cars a year in Yosemite, so there are bear boxes in every campground. Therefore, we completely unloaded our car. Every crumb was removed.

It was our last hope. If it didn’t work, nothing would.

We set up the traps and went to sleep, and in the morning there she was, one of the fattest mice we’d ever seen. We agreed that’d she’d probably just had the most amazing “all-inclusive trip” of her life.

– Matěj from Czech the World

13. An Unexpected Fall Into Crocodile-Infested Waters

If you’re looking for funny adventure stories that are also a bit scary — or even travel disaster stories — this one is for you.

Safari tourism hadn’t really taken off when we visited Malawi in 2010 during an overland trip through Africa.

Health and safety weren’t major considerations, and it was certainly a far cry from the safaris we did in South Africa , Tanzania, and Botswana.

Arriving at Liwonde National Park in the south of Malawi we were excited as we knew it was a great place to spot elephants.

We relied on our campsite to book a canoe safari for us. Luckily, as soon as we set off we spotted loads of elephants — and even hippos — along the shoreline.

The trip leader in the canoe behind us suddenly shouted to our guide. Then there was an unexpected bump and we were thrown out of the canoe.

Our canoe had been flipped by a hippo!

The moments that followed were a blur. Thankfully local fishermen had seen the commotion and came over to help. We knew that there were crocodiles in the water as well as hippos and wanted to get out as soon as possible. We managed to haul ourselves into the fishermen’s canoes and were paddled back to the shore.

Amazingly nobody had been hurt and we were very thankful to the local fishermen. While we were drying out, we were pretty shocked to be asked to pay for the trip. They finally settled for a 50% reduction and we paid with the wet notes from our wallet.

We weren’t traveling with smartphones in those days so finding a reputable tour company was a bit hit and miss.

Often, there are lessons to be learned through these stories of travel. These days we would recommend Googling reputable tour operators, although as with all wildlife adventures, always expect the unexpected!”

– Jacquie from Flashpacking Family

14. Remembered By The TSA

One of my favorite short funny stories to tell is this one.

I traveled out of the Kansas City airport about every other week for the past three years.

Before I leave my house, I clean out the fridge and put any fruit that would go bad into a stasher bag.

I have TSA Precheck but have learned it’s just easier to pull it out of my purse into a bin and it won’t ever get questioned.

Last summer I was going through and the X-Ray guy says, “Hey! It’s strawberry girl!”

Then three others perked up and waved to me.

Except for that day, it was sliced peaches, and I felt like I let them down.

-Katie Boutwell, Katie B Traveling

15. Confusion In Small-Town France

I feel like this is one of those relatable funny stories because who hasn’t ended up in the wrong location?

In 2019, my husband and I took a trip to France to attend the wedding of my former exchange student, Christelle.

The day after the wedding, we set off from our hotel to the small village of Montcourt-Fromonville to attend a luncheon for close friends and family.

Shortly after arriving in the small village, we happened to pass Christelle’s family gathered in a small parking lot. We wondered if we should stop, but they didn’t look settled, and Google Maps was continuing to direct us.

We drove further, and eventually, Google Maps did the thing where it says you have arrived, but you look around and don’t know where you’ve arrived to.

My husband and I were very confused. Per the invite, the destination was called Chateau de la Mairie de Montcourt-Fromonville, but there was no address associated with it. When I typed it into Google, it came up as being a city hall.

Looking around the vicinity, we did see a castle-looking building in the distance, but it seemed way too fancy for a luncheon. Plus, would Christelle really be having her luncheon at a city hall?

We turned around and decided to go back to the parking lot where we had originally seen Christelle and her family. Of course, when we got there, no one was outside anymore. We approached a residential building nearby, thinking perhaps the luncheon was at someone’s personal residence there and snooped around a little bit.

Unfortunately, there were no signs of any gatherings in this quiet building. As we walked away, I heard a voice behind us say, “Bonjour.”

Turning around, I spotted a woman I had never seen in my life and wondered how I would explain our apparent snooping in French.

“Nous cherchons une fete.” (We are looking for a party)

The woman continued to stare at me.

“Pas ici?” (Not here?)

The woman shook her head “no” with a confused look on her face. Feeling her eyes upon us, we immediately left before further damage could be done with my limited French.

Frustrated, we followed Google Maps back to the lovely castle-looking building. Now we saw more cars there, and we thought maybe that was the location after all.

Our suspicions were confirmed upon parking outside of the chateau “city hall” where we were relieved to finally find Christelle and her family.

We were very grateful this was such a small village. Otherwise, I’m not sure how much bad French I would have had to stumble through before finding the luncheon!

– Theresa from Fueled by Wanderlust

16. An Unexpected Mountain Encounter

One of my most interesting vacation stories happened a few years ago. My younger brother and I decided to take a drive from Oklahoma City to the Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge to see if we could get any photos of the bison herds that live there.

We couldn’t find any, unfortunately, but we did find some very ornery longhorn cows!

We drove up to the visitor’s center to get directions to where the bison were at the moment, but we couldn’t get out of the car. There was a small group of about four longhorns gathered around watching something. When we got close enough to see what was so exciting, we realized that there were two teenage-looking steers fighting with their horns locked!

We wanted to watch the fighting because it was so entertaining — and not what we were expecting — but we learned that it was a mistake when one almost knocked the other into our car.

We absolutely did not want to be stuck getting out and having to be around them without the protection of a two-thousand-pound SUV separating us, so we drove off.

But I’ll never forget the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realized we could have been in a car accident where the longhorn hit us and not the other way around!

It’s one of the best funny road trip stories we often share with friends!

– Stephanie from Oklahoma Wonders

Bonus Short Travel Stories

Looking for more interesting travel stories and funny travel anecdotes? Don’t miss:

25 Crazy Travel Stories You Need To Read To Believe

23 Inspiring Travel Stories Sharing The Kindness Of Strangers

38 Inspiring Travel Love Stories From The Road

Sexual Assault Stories From The Road (& What I’ve Learned)

8 Crazy NYC Subway Stories That Will Make You Hail A Cab

17 True Short Adventure Travel Stories To Inspire Your Next Trip

A Host’s Perspective: My Worst Airbnb Horror Stories

11 Epic Travel Fail Stories From The Road

18 Scary Travel Stories From Haunted Hotels To Creepy Cabins

Do you have any short funny travel stories to add to this list?

Enjoyed this list of hilarious travel stories? Pin these funny anecdotes for later!

Related posts:

About jessie festa.

Jessie Festa is an New York-based travel content creator who is passionate about empowering her audience to experience new places and live a life of adventure. She is the founder of the solo female travel blog, Jessie on a Journey, and is editor-in-chief of Epicure & Culture , an online conscious tourism magazine. Along with writing, Jessie is a professional photographer and is the owner of NYC Photo Journeys , which offers New York photo tours, photo shoots, and wedding photography. Her work has appeared in publications like USA Today, CNN, Business Insider, Thrillist, and WestJet Magazine.

Hi, I’m Jessie on a journey!

I'm a conscious solo traveler on a mission to take you beyond the guidebook to inspire you to live your best life through travel. Come join me!

Want to live your best life through travel?

Subscribe for FREE access to my library of fun blogging worksheets and learn how to get paid to travel more!

Turn Your Travel Blog Into A Profitable Business

Subscribe to my email list to snag instant access to my library of workbooks, checklists, tutorials and other resources to help you earn more money -- and have more fun -- blogging. Oh, and it's totally FREE! :) //  Privacy Policy . 

Check your inbox for your welcome email + resource library password!

36 Comments

Thank you so much for sharing your stories. Hope to see you in Morocco for an excellent adventure trip. Enjoy and keep doing excellent trips!

@Moha: Thank you!

OMG!!! I can only imagine what you must have gone through. Really funny stories. I would surely be careful next time before booking a massage 🙂 Thanks for the super hilarious blog.

That’s a lot of spa stories. I too had boob massage in Indonesia and Thailand. Whoops!

really very nice artical

Morocco is one of the unique countries in the world and a country of dizzying diversity. You may wander through spice markets, explore sweeping deserts and enjoy warm hospitality. Morocco is roughly the size of California, this is why day tours are so popular! Perhaps this is one of the most exciting Morocco Desert Tours.

very nice Thank you so much for sharing your stories. Hope to see you in Morocco for an excellent adventure trip.

Your Site is very nice, and it’s very helping us this post is unique and interesting, thank you for sharing this awesome information.

really very nice article. thanks for share with us.

Nice information

nice information sir

Nice blog with great post, Thanks for sharing!

Nice article

I love travelling and have craze too…….. Very interesting stories

thanks for sharing this informative piece

Good one. I liked it. Keep going. you are a best writer your site is very useful and informative thanks for sharing!

Losing and Finding My Way in Japan

by Norm Williams

For much of my career, I traveled the world as a salesman.  Our company hired people in each country we sold in to help with various duties. One year I went to Japan, and the sales agent chose the Kokusai Hotel in Kyoto for my stay due to the efficiency of its proximity to his office.  I left early on a calm, bright morning to find my way through a beautiful historic part of the city built in traditional Japanese style.   The cute, smiley hotel receptionist had written directions on a map, circled the area of my destination, and wrote out the address in Japanese in case I needed help.  Shyly, she said in broken Japanese-English and with her hand covering her mouth, “It’s in this area.  If you get lost, here’s the address.”  With an early start and a clear sense of direction, I felt comfortable about arriving on time – a business culture imperative in Japan. I thought I found the circled area on the map with ease.  I then compared the hand-written address to the kanji characters on the buildings to discern a match.  With no Japanese reading ability, I struggled as if trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphs without the Rosetta stone.  I soon realized, “I’m lost, and not just in the usual way when I’m at home in the U.S.  I’m lost without local reading or speaking ability, not knowing anyone in the city to go to for help, and a cell phone without reception in this country to call my sales agent.”  Bewildered and disappointed that I could not find the way on my own, I began to wander.  I looked for help among the passers-by. 

I used my ignorant foreigner look, which I had patented around the world — the clueless, helpless, American businessman who is hopelessly lost, out of his element, and pleading for some host country compassion. I tentatively approached a businessman, presumably walking to work.  Being deep in thought, I surprised him as a foreigner.  But, kindly, he took pity on me. He looked at the address and, after a long pause, said, while shaking his head side-to-side, “Aaannnooo.”  To me, this sounded like, “I don’t know.”  Later I learned that “anno” is the Japanese form of “mmmm.”   We parted with a mutual look of apology.  I continued to beg for help as I disrupted Kyoto’s quiet, morning street routine.  A coffee shop appeared to be a prospect for a captive audience of potential helpers.  A lone, older man, enjoying his coffee and newspaper, sat in the corner, isolated.  I cornered him.  He had no choice but to help.   He took a long, discerning look at the address, then the map, then the address, then the map again.  He pointed to a spot on the map with an air of precision and confidence.  But beneath his veneer of clarity and calm, I thought I saw a man pinning a tail on a donkey piñata while blindfolded.  Time to move on, I thought. I learned later-on that addresses in Japan are codes to unravel.  They indicate a ward, a district within the ward, a subsection of the district called a chome, a block number within the chome, and, finally, a building number.  In Japan, they number buildings in the order of their construction. They are not in numerical order as in the U.S.  The address I looked for could be located anywhere on the block, not somewhere in sequence. In place of a conventional numbered street address, an address in Japan could read like this in the U.S.:  “Go down this alleyway, take

a right at the nightclub, continue past the graveyard, and it’s the red door on the right after the old oak tree.”    Next, I found a lady pulling boxes on a cart.  I guessed that a delivery person would know the area well.  After quickly reviewing the address, she waved me hurriedly in another direction as if she knew exactly where to go.  We eventually reached her old van in front of a gas station.  She took out a map. As she looked at it for a long time, a deep crease began to form in her forehead. Her air of confidence became a look of “I don’t know.”  Fortunately, her fellow worker, who sensed the problem, stepped in, analyzed the address and map, and then pointed with the certainty of a commanding general to an area of buildings across the street.  My translation of her gesture, however, was:  “It’s somewhere over there!”  Another pin-the-tail moment. By now, I trusted no one walking the street.  So, I waved down an expert – a taxi driver.  His response to reading the address was an elongated samurai grunt and finger-pointing fit in Japanese-English, “Why are you taking a taxi?  It is around here.  We don’t need to drive anywhere!”  But I could detect uncertainty in his expressions as he desperately tried to help me.  I responded to him in my best, polite international English that I had learned works around the world – simple words pronounced slowly and loudly with a local accent as if the person cannot hear me well enough. In English with a Japanese accent, I said,  “Pleeease driiiive meee tooo theee ahdresssss ah.  I wiiill paaay youuuu eeeeven if it iiis aaacross the streeeeet.”  Then it dawned on me that he did not understand any of my Japanese accented English.  So, I resorted to the universal sign language of desperation conveyed with an American G I Joe gusto that said through body gestures, “I don’t want to walk there.  I am very late!  Please drive me even if it costs $50 to go 10 feet!”

He interpreted my gestures differently from what I meant because he zoomed off with me towards the center of town.  He tossed me what looked like a Japanese language guide-book to the city with pictures of landmarks and pages of street maps.  It was like he was giving me a tour of the town as he pointed to various places.  Perceiving the misadventure ahead, I emphasized my unwavering interest in going to the phantom address by vigorously and repeatedly pointing at the address written on the paper.  He responded with more grunts mixed with smiles as if saying, “You can point all you want.  You are my prisoner.” After many miles, we arrived back where we began the city tour and parked outside the gas station.  A determined and, apparently, a compassionate man, the driver did not want to let me down now.  He went to the gas station’s workers and pulled them together for a conference.  For what seemed like an eternity, they diligently researched maps, considered directories, animatedly discussed possible locations, and pointed in various directions. Then the gas station workers appeared to bow to each other in a humble celebration. Grandly, one of them stepped forward from the group and pointed to a building directly across the street. In the same direction that the cart puller’s fellow worker had gestured to, and the taxi driver told me about, I wondered, in despair, “Could it be that the building was, all this time, just over there, and I hadn’t listened to them?” The elated cab driver, who dearly wanted to finish the job, eagerly waved me into the taxi.  Ecstatic, I jumped in.  With a simple U-turn, he would deliver me to the door of the building across the street.  But, of course, that would be too simple. We drove in Japan, and the strict traffic laws overrode any sense of simplicity. My cab driver pulled out, zoomed off, took a dozen or so turns down one-way streets, and we finally pulled up to the building that was across

the street. I could have walked back and forth between the building and gas station twenty times while in the cab.  Gratefully, I paid the taxi driver a ransom for my release plus a tip for the city tour.  As I walked into my sales agent’s office sixty minutes late, his lady assistant graciously approached me, saying, “He is waiting for you at the Kokusai hotel to bring you here.”  “Oh My God! What message did I miss that told me to wait there?” I thought in anguish. “I spoke with a half dozen Japanese, disrupted their morning routine, struggled endlessly to understand them, walked many city blocks, traveled unnecessary miles, felt the helplessness and hopelessness of being lost, arrived an hour late, and I only had to wait for the sales agent to quickly and efficiently take me to his office! Feeling quite humble, I entered the meeting room and sat down at the conference table. My sales agent began to speak, and I listened carefully to his direction.

I like your travel stories thanks for sharing!

I really like your post I appreciate your work , I will suggest your page with my friends

thank you so much for sharing this experience

Wish to see you in Morocco for a hot air balloon ride experience

Want more such kinds of posts, keep posting!

I love travelling and have craze too…….. Very interesting stories

Awesome Read. Thanks.

Capisoft Indicator in kenya

Thanks for sharing best information

Thanks For sharing best information

good information keep posting

wow, great post. it gave me a lot of useful information. I look forward to your next posts.

Great blog post! Thank you so much for sharing it.

Dear Jessie Festa,

I wanted to thank you for your wonderful article, “16 Short Funny Travel Stories That’ll Make You Laugh Out Loud.” Your stories brought so much joy and laughter to my day! Your ability to capture the humor in travel experiences is truly insightful and refreshing. Each anecdote resonated with me, reminding me of the fun and unexpected moments that make traveling so special. Keep sharing your delightful stories—they are a much-needed source of positivity and entertainment. Your work is truly appreciated!

Warm regards, Yollanda

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

26 Travel Memes That Will Make You Laugh in 2022

If you’re a frequent traveler I’m guessing you’re also a fan of funny travel memes.

As frequent travelers, we often find ourselves in amusing and precarious situations. Many of which can be perfectly summed up in a great travel meme. 

So just for fun, I’ve put together this list of the 25 Best Travel Memes on the Internet. You’ll find inspirational travel memes, airline travel memes, social media travel memes, and many more.

Best Travel Memes 2022

All travel memes and journey quotes for this article have been sourced from the internet. The original source for each image is identified where possible.

1. No children travel meme

This is my personal favorite travel meme. It describes my life perfectly.

I don’t have kids so I don’t have to worry about family responsibilities when planning to travel. I’ll go wherever the cheap flights will take me and try to never miss out on a good flight deal.

2. Hotel travel meme

This is one of the most hilarious travel memes I’ve found.

I don’t tend to mess with housekeeping much, but I have to admit this is really funny.

I’ve actually worked in housekeeping before, many, many years ago. I’ve seen some things. But definitely nothing like this.

3. Airplane travel meme

Agreed! There’s something relaxing about flying and looking down on the world below. 

Funny travel quotes like this also perfectly sum up how I feel about flying. I love being away from everything, not knowing anybody, and just having this time to myself.

I’ll listen to a good book or podcast and just enjoy the quiet. You can’t go anywhere until the plane lands, so you might as well make the most of it.

Does anybody else find flying therapeutic?

4. Group travel plans meme

I think this travel meme sums up everybody’s experience when planning a trip with friends.

At least until we learn to stop asking people to join us beforehand. Now I just tell people my plans after I’ve booked my trip.

If they want to join, great! if not, they can stay home. 

I also love how the pics in this travel meme include dogs! Dogs are the perfect recipe for a funny vacation meme.

5. Packing travel meme

This is one of my favorite funny travel memes going around on social media. I think it’s one we can all relate to.

Personally, I buy lots of clothes I never end up wearing, mostly because I’m a terrible shopper.

Yes somehow these clothes always end up in my suitcase. It’s amazing how that works sometimes.  

6. Airline baggage policy travel meme

How perfect is this funny travel meme?

Airline baggage policies often both amuse and infuriate me, mostly because many are a bit ridiculous and don’t make much sense.

I do understand the airlines need to make up for the cost of low ticket prices somehow, but I feel they could do a better job explaining their convuluted baggage policies.

Not all airlines are bad at this, but some certainly are.

I think many also miss that the weight limits are not because the plane will be too heavy, but because the airline is limiting the weight of the bags for baggage handlers.

You wouldn’t want to be lifing 100 pound suitcases all day either. Keeping them closer to 50 pounds is safer for the staff moving your bags on and off the airplane.

7. Water at the airport travel meme

This has happened to me too many times. I’ve since learned to bring a refillable bottle in my carry on.

I can’t imagine how much money this has saved me in just the past year. Now if I could just remember to buy chewing gum before I get to the airport. 

To be totally honest though, while I may not be spending money on bottled water at the airport, I sure don’t seem to have a problem spending money on wine at the airport. Who’s with me?

8. Carry on bags travel meme

I’ve seen this a million times as well.

Fortunately, I usually manage to squeeze my bag in somewhere in the overhead bin. 

It always makes me wonder how some people have so many items when the airlines’s baggage policy states each passenger gets one carry on.

I’m starting to think people just hide their bags when they go to the counter for check in.

9. Airplane boarding meme

Some people take FOREVER in the aisle. I don’t even understand how whatever they’re doing could possibly take that long.

Do they not see the line behind them?

Seriously though, can someone explain this to me?

10. Reclining airplane seat meme

I’ve never been one to recline my seat on an airplane because it doesn’t make the flight any more comfortable.

I also don’t want to squish the person behind me.

Like everybody else, I hate it when the person in front of me reclines their seat. For some reason, this always happens when I’m watching a movie or eating.

Why someone would recline their seat during meal service is beyone me, but it happens. If you paid for your seat on the plane, you can recline it if you wish. It’s really not that big of a deal. I’m usually just happy to be on a plane in the first place.

11. Southwest Airlines meme

I love how seriously some folks take the boarding situation on Southwest Airlines.

I never really put much thought into it other than to ensure I check in right away to get a good boarding position.

I’ve definitely overheard some squabbles between passengers before though. This usually seems to happen when someone tries saving a seat for someone else who hasn’t been able to board yet.

I don’t really get why people insist on doing this. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t get to sit by your friend or partner during a flight.

And if it is such a big deal, why didn’t you just pay the $20 for the first boarding group? Makes no sense to me.

As for me, I head to the back of the plane to grab a window seat and silently hope no one sits next to me.

12. Reward points travel meme

Gotta love The Office…and travel reward points. 

I don’t know about you, but I always make my purchases using a credit card that gets me points for travel.

I personally use the Chase Sapphire and a few Marriott rewards credit cards. I use the Sapphire for airfare and the Marriott cards for my hotels. It works out perfectly.

If you don’t already have a good travel rewards credit card or business travel rewards card, I strongly encourage you to get one. Use it for all your daily purchases, you’d be surprised how quicly those points add up.

Just be sure to pay it off in full each month. The reward points are no longer worth it if you’re paying hundreds of dollars in interest fees to carry a balance.

But if you can handle the card responsibly, say hello to free flights and hotels.

13. Airplane boarding travel meme

Any meme with John Goodman makes my list. 

Plus vacation memes about people blocking the airplane aisle are so accurate. I don’t understand this aspect of traveling by plane.

When I’m boarding a plane I usually feel awkward if people are waiting behind me to pass. So much so that I’ll do whatever I can to limit my time in the aisle.

If I’m taking longer that a few seconds, I’ll usually just step out of the aisle to let other pass if there’s room to do so. Not sure why everybody doesn’t do this.

Also, what’s up with people waiting until they board the plane to start digging things out of their carry on roller bag? Why? Just why?

14. The summer tourist vacation meme

My own reaction is similar. I live in Los Angeles and know that certain areas of the city are just off limits come summer.

I’m talking about you Santa Monica and Hollywood Blvd. 

Even when I make my travel plans I consider the possible crowds for the destination I want to visit. I usually avoid Europe entirely in the summer. Not only are there too many tourists, but the prices are way too high.

I’d much rather travel in the spring and fall when everybody else is back at work. You wouldn’t believe all the deals you can get by opting for off season travel destinations .

15. The Alpaca Road Trip Meme s

Every list of funny travel memes needs an alpaca road trip meme. Plus, this one shows the true spirit of a road trip.

Road trips are best when they’re spontaneous, with the right people who are down for anything.

16. Waiting for my friends to travel meme

People often ask me when we’re going to travel together?

I used to entertain these comments with destination ideas and time frames. Now I just respond by suggesting they let me know when they’re ready to book the trip.

This is usually the end of the conversation. I think many people just like to talk about traveling, but don’t really have any intention of doing it. 

17. Always posting on social media travel meme

We all have that friend who has to post every single photo they take on Facebook. You know the one.

18. Parents traveling without you meme

Many of us can relate to this in one way or another, whether it be travel or something else. It always seems your parents start doing cool things after you’ve grown up and moved out.

19. Covid Travel Meme

So many of us had travel plans this year that were cancelled. I know some of us handled it better than others. Here’s to hoping we’re out of this soon.

20. I wish I was quarantined in Paris travel meme

This was absolutely me for the majority of the pandemic. I live in a suburb of Los Angeles and would have given anything to be stuck somewhere more interesting.

21. Airlines travel meme

I’ve only done this once, and never again. Unless I find a spectacular deal, I much prefer to pay a little extra for more comfort and convenience these days.

22. Cruise Travel Memes

I don’t think anyone had it worse during Covid than the cruise industry. I have no idea how they plan to operate again, but I’m sure things will be interesting when they do.

23. When your mom is always worried travel meme

I absolutely relate to this one. No matter where on the planet I go, my mom is always worried about the safety of the destination.

Honestly, most of the destinations I visit are safer than where I live.

24. Airline seating travel memes

In all honesty, it never ceases to amaze me how little room some airlines leave for passengers between the rows. I’m lucky I’m on the small side.

25. Airport Travel Meme

I admit it, I’m definitely guilty of this one. I’m excited to be at the airport and traveling, but also bored at the same time. It’s a difficult situation.

26. Bank account travel meme

When your travel dreams are bigger than your bank account. I feel like this is true for most of us, and it’s definitely true for me.

I really hope you enjoyed this list of the 26 Best Travel Memes on the Internet? If you would like to support this blog please consider sharing this post. Thanks for reading.

Related Posts

Tbilisi Itinerary

This Tbilisi itinerary will take you on an incredible journey through one of the world’s…

Scottsdale to Sedona Day Trip Itinerary

Top 100 Highest Currency in the World in 2024

Photo by Canva This post will help you identify the top 100 highest currency in…

I help busy people find creative ways to travel more.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed .

ABOUT | PRESS | FAQs | CONTACT | VIDEOS | GALLERIES

• SOUTH AFRICA
• ZAMBIA-VICTORIA FALLS
• PHILIPPINES
• NEW ZEALAND
• SARDINIA PAGE
• THINGS I LOVE!
• Work With Me

WHEN TRAVEL GOES WRONG: Best Funny & Humorous Travel Stories

In BLOG , FUN CORNER by Clelia Mattana 18 October, 2018 88 Comments

Contents - Open To Read

DO YOU WANT TO READ SOME AWESOME FUNNY TRAVEL STORIES? 

Then, my friend, you are in the right place because not only you’ll read some truly funny stories here, but I am actually The REAL MASTER OF DISASTER! They should give me an Oscar for  “Best Funny travel story” category. Yes, I’m that bad! 

But as someone wise once said:

“The human race has only one really effective weapon and that is laughter.” 

  Mark Twain

A  good funny travel story is usually the result of something that has gone (terribly)wrong. So there shouldn’t be anything to laugh about right? Except for the fact that you not only survived the accident but now you’re actually secretly proud to tell your friends all about your funny story over and over. I know I’m right…Confess! 😀

Those “Huh oh” moments can be quite unpleasant experiences, but you instantly know that they will make to the collection of excellent  and interesting humorous stories for years to come ! Heck, you might even score a date or two if you find an ironic person (Just saying!)

I love funny travel stories so much! They show the less glamorous part of traveling and are an important part of travel itself. They represent the challenge, the adventure, the thrill. The real deal, not those perfect Instagram shots we ALL know are staged. DUH!

So to quiet them down a bit I started to write a few humorous stories on FB and now I’m trying to collect them all and transfer my funny moments (disasters) while traveling in here too. 

I just added the infamous one I had this year (2019 as we speak) when I first arrived in Australia for the first time 😀

But back to this article: I had a mission!

To search and collect all the funny or at least humorous stories related to travel around the web and put them together in a top ten post, easy right? Not quite!

To reach my goal I started extensive researches on blogs and various websites. I even searched the most remote pages of Google to spot them and it wasn’t as easy as I thought!

But, at least, what I found and selected in the end, is definitely worth reading ! Someof the ones I’ve discovered are incredibly funny and humorous stories, others are creepy or beautifully written, whilst some others are quite spicy (stay away if you are a prude).  

No matter how different they are, they all have one thing in common: They made me laugh or chuckle a bit . And in any case, if something goes REALLY WRONG, there are legal ways and consultancies services you can count on (which is a release! phewwww).

BEFORE GETTING TO THE FUN STUFF, A SERIOUS NOTE:

As a Master of Disaster other than the funny ones, I have so many horror stories to tell! I got injured and sick during my trips and they stole my possessions during a bus ride in Thailand once (including 1000 euros cash).

So a word of advice is in order: be extra careful when you choose the travel insurance for your trip ! (Click here to see what I use , they literally saved my life and finances more than once).

I never go without it and even if in some of these funny stories it might not be necessary, trust me that in other cases… it most certainly is!

SO BACK TO THE FUNNY STORIES FINALLY!

Yeah, that would be me, with a whole tomato in my mouth in a pub in Amsterdam. WHY? There is no why, I simply like being silly 🙂

For each story, I will insert a quick excerpt to give you a glimpse of what the fuss is all about, and I’ll put the relevant link to the article if you want to read the filthy details 🙂

BONUS MATERIAL:

Scroll till the end to find an article that seriously cracked me up! It’s not technically a story, but it’s definitely travel related!

1| 24 HOURS TO GET TO MELBOURNE (AND ALMOST SLEEP UNDER A BRIDGE)

Category: Funny Stories

“I had dreamed of that moment for hours… That fantastic moment where I was given the key to my room and I would have seen the most precious thing in the world: A BED. What I see instead is a sofa in the living room of an unknown house, located in between the entrance door and the kitchen door. I swear I was about to faint. “

This is a new series of my blog. Given that my friends and followers on Fb love the live chronicles of my horror-funny travel stories I decided to start posting them here.

In this occasion… well, this is how the land of Kangaroos welcomed me on my first night Down Undernight, after 24 hours in the air, lost in space-time and angry like a stray cat 😀

Source   Keep Calm And Travel :  Humorous Stories turned into horror ones: Me, David & The Taxi Driver

1| ALMOST KILLED BY A TURKISH HAIRDRESSER IN GERMANY

Category: funny stories

“The hairdresser proceeded to shave around the perimeter of my hairline, focusing mostly on the back of my neck. He moved the razor in quick little strokes, handling its edge with feline grace. I made the mistake of picturing how easily he could take my eye out, or how quickly he might give me a Sweeney Todd, and it was then my complexion faded from ‘Eggshell Uncomfortable’ to ‘Chartreuse Sputum.’”

This is an absolutely brilliant story, reporting how a simple question about politics can change the course of a simple hair cut from magic to tragic.

Will our hero succumb under the claws of the Turkish hairdresser?

SOURCE: Oh God My Wife is German

2 |THE MYSTERIOUS EUROPEAN SHOWER 

Category: Humorous Stories

“There were no knobs or handles of any kind that I could turn to get the water running. There was this little console inside, which I tried to use. At first, it seemed self-explanatory. It had dials for water temperature and water pressure, and a start/stop button! Plus, it was all in English ! Surely I could figure this out, right?”

The mysterious shower

A very Funny insight on how an innocent European shower can become a mysterious sinister object for the poor American Tourist.Will Geraldine figure out how to handle a “highly technological” European Shower? Click on the link below!

This is a must-read tale from a  super talented writer. Geraldine would be able to make you laugh even by writing on how she drinks her coffee!

Source: Everywhereist

3| CULINARY EXPERIMENTS

Category: Funny/Quirky stories

“While in Vang Vieng, Laos, two other travelers and I decided to visit the local market one evening. The idea was that we would each purchase some kind of food item to bring back to the guesthouse and share with the group for a nice local dinner”

The post I’m linking to is a collection of stories from Derek Baron. He decided to put together a list of the dumbest things he did during his 14 years of extensive traveling.

The result is a quite hilarious post where, among other funny experiences, Derek tells us how he decided to eat a Rat, in an attempt to try the local cousin. How did the experiment go? Read on to discover it!

Source: Wandering Earl

4| THAI MASSAGE OR THAI TORTURE?

Category: Humorous stories

Her black eyes examined me closely, wrinkles forming in her chestnut brown facial skin as she visually assessed me prior to my massage. “You big boy. I think you need two hours.”  “No, I’m good with one.”

Would you like a massage??!

Beware of who you put your trust in. A relaxation massage turned into a Karate match against an old Thai lady. Who is going to be the winner?

Source: One dad one kid

5 |CHASED DOWN A MOUNTAIN BY SOME LOCAL WOMEN

“Wow, these people are so friendly!” I thought to myself. This is exactly the kind of cultural encounter every traveler hopes for – walking down a mountain en route to a rural village, water buffaloes munching away on shrubs, women from a local hill tribe joining for a walk. Why this is the kind of stuff makes the feature story on the National Geographic! Right?

We’ve all been there: captured by the innocent smiles and kindness of the locals in a foreign land… Be careful when putting your pink glasses on, as you will also probably need a good pair of shoes to run away as fast as possible! Click below to read Audrey’s escape plan!

Source: That Backpacker

6 |DEATH ON THE BOAT

Category: Black humor / quirky Stories

“I immediately felt my chest tighten and my heart began to race as my mind replayed the events of the past few days – had I been using insect repellent? Had I been covered up? Had I been bitten?  I was suddenly convinced that I was about to die too”

Lauren Smiling before the nightmare begins

What would you do if you find yourself trapped on a slow boat with a poor dead body lying next to you? This is obviously not a funny story, but a rather creepy adventure on the Mekong river. Lauren has an entire anthology of weird and funny-tragic stories on her website.

There I am, bumming at the airport before my flight and reading Lauren’s book!

A must-read! And now she has a book! Well actually I also have her book because her stories are just super fun, I totally recommend it, check it out in here !

Source: Never ending Foot Steps

7 |”MONKEY BUSINESS”. ON A CHICKEN BUS…

Category: Spicy Travel Stories

“As the bus ride progressed and the chicken bus going like crazy everyone sliding back and forth in every direction I noticed something weird. I kept feeling his leg purposely touching my leg so I, of course, started making my leg touch his as well”

Warning: Spicy Adventure ahead! 🙂 Some travel bloggers are quite adventurous and brave enough to tell us all about their hot encounters…

This story is probably one of the most popular spicy tales of the past few years. No need to get embarrassed tough. I actually admire those people who can be very open about their life, and the story is pretty hilarious! want to know more? Put the kids to sleep first 🙂

Source: Breakaway Backpacker

8| FLATTERY GOES A LONG WAY

“Hello! You are beautiful,” he began. While my first reaction was to keep on walking, I stopped to listen anyway. Because you have to admit, the man had a valid point.

Honestly? I didn’t know which post to choose from Sally’s dozen funny stories! She just drags you into her clumsy funny world so easily!

This time, she writes about how flattery seems to be her weak point. Apparently, she can’t resist a compliment and she was convinced to join a group of Chinese tourists, that treats her like the star of the hour!

Do you want to know how she ended dressed like a local on a rice terrace? Click on the link to read about her adventure!

Source: Unbrave Girl

9| FUNNY STORIES: OUTRAGEOUS PICTURES

Category: Visual Funny stories

Instead, I’ve decided to share some of the more quirky, bizarre, outrageous, outlandish, humorous, funny, ridiculous, absurd & truly off-the-charts moments I’ve experienced while traveling over the years, as summarized in a photo essay.

Indian-Man-Cleaning-Genitals

In a post about funny/weird stories, I couldn’t certainly forget to add a photographic essay on some funny/irreverent pictures from around the world! Get ready to chuckle! 🙂

Source: Nomadic Samuel

10 |SPANKED AT A FISH MARKET

Category: Funny /spicy /Humorous stories

“It was hot. Korean summer hot. Melting makeup hot. Seriously, summer in Korea gets up into the 30s and feels like plus 40s with 100% humidity and not a drop of rain. I had undone the top of my shirt to let a little air in and I suppose I should mention my breasts”

This is a funny short travel story on how you need to be extra careful whilst traveling in a different cultural environment. Especially in terms of clothing! 🙂

Source: The Escapism Artist

THE MOST HILARIOUS LIST OF FLIGHT ATTENDANTS ANNOUNCEMENTS

1) “Flight attendant on a Virgin Australia flight “And today we have someone who is celebrating their 21 st birthday, please stand up xxxxxxx……Fancy that, 21 and never been in a Virgin.”

2) “Please feel free to leave behind any of your items in the overhead compartment; I’m having a yard sale this weekend.”

3) “Hi, I’m Captain Amanda Smith. Yes, I’m a female pilot and as a benefit, if we get lost on the way I won’t be afraid to stop and ask for directions.”

4)On an early morning flight, “I noticed a few ladies who forgot to put on their makeup this morning. I’ll be dimming the lights for your convenience.”

5)“How about that landing? Not bad for his first day.”

Do you want to read more?! Check out the full article, to die for!

Flights and Frustration

So here they are, the 10 of the funniest/weirdest travel stories  I found on the web and let me tell you, It’s been a real challenge to find them!

Why is that? don’t people write enough about their weird adventures? am I a bad researcher or it’s just Google trying to hide them really well??

Whatever the reason, it’s a pity because these are the kind of stories that transform the average traveler in a real Indiana Jones!

If you have a very funny or humorous Travel story to share, please leave a comment with your link or a quick recap! I’d love to discover other Crazy adventurers out there! Come out from your shell and share your stories with us! 

Superb and valuable knowledge information because of useful updated for me, thank you so much for share this wonderful article.

this is freaking funny but this is common hacks everyone faces thanks for this interesting article.

Oh God My Wife is German :p What was it???

Hahahah That story is pretty hilarious 😀

Wow, wonderful weblog format! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The total look of your site is magnificent, let alone the content material!

Thanks Sonia, I’ve been blogging for 7 years and it’s not easy at all especially considering that English is not my native language, but I try my best 🙂

What a nice experience when traveling !

A Great Info about to travel and so Funny. Happy to share this info to my friends which are very useful. Thanks for sharing

Sooooooo funny! Great share!

Thank you! Glad you liked it 😉

It is truly a great and useful piece of info. I’m happy that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

Such a Great Information about to Travel I really liked your article, your article is very frightened me in the learning process and provide additional knowledge to me, maybe I can learn more from you, I will wait for your next article, I’ve really enjoyed reading it throughout. Thanks for Sharing.

Thank you for your kind words! here is always something new to learn when traveling, even for veterans 🙂

This was an awesome post. it inspires me to send it my mother whenever I decide to travel overseas alone. She freaks out everytime.

hahahah I’m 41 and my mother still freaks out! No matter that I left my parents house at 19, we are always kids for them 🙂

Nice post! Thanks for sharing!

Thanks Anna! Glad you liked it!

This makes my day. I enjoy every single story in this post.

ADMIN NOTE: Please don’t include any link to commercial websites in the comment section as they will be removed. Thank you!

Loved every single story! I’ll have to write down some accidents that happened to me while travelling as well.

Hey Vincent, thanks for your comment! I’m sure you’ll have plenty of travel story, everyone has them and they are the best part of the trip 😀

Your post had gave me ideas that how to share funny video. Thanks for sharing

The index is really helpful. I love how you edit the post Glad you find the information useful. Thank you very much for share this great helpful information with us.

Uhmm there is no index? maybe you should read the article first 😉

I’d love to travel too! Thanks for sharing your experience.

Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

Dear Lord! 4 years since the post was published but the comments just keep coming and for a good reason! Thanks for putting together this list and interesting read! The accident on the boat is truly a creepy experience!

Ahahah yeah, Travel gone wrong is an evergreen topic! 🙂

Superb and funny post..! Really loved it… Keep posting….

Thank you 🙂

Love this blog…the main reason being is as travelers we ALL have something happen during our adventures. Regardless if they are truly bad or bizarre my thoughts on these events turn out to be some of our biggest highlights! These are the stories we will find ourselves repeating to eager ears back home and on the road, if you visit Vietnam, you will get it !

Hey Hong, you’re so right, these are the stories people want to hear 🙂

I’ve had so many crazy experiences travelling. Once in Cambodia I was caught on a bus where the drivers were smuggling drugs behind my chair! Just last week I was hitch hiking and I got caught up in the middle of a street race on a single motorbike with two other people, two bags and no helmets. You can read about it on my blog

Admin note: Please avoid linking to articles (even if they can be of good quality, it allows spammers to do the same and it would become a real nightmare). People can already check out your website by clicking on your name in the comment. Thank you for your understanding! Clelia

Thanks for adding your own travel nightmares! 🙂

Brilliant stories! If you’re doing anything similar in the future, hit us up, we have a lot to tell from our worldwide experiences! Great site by the way 🙂

Thanks Katie!

Yeah, Thank you for sharing, greating..:)

Thanks for stopping by!

I can totally relate about the European showers. During my trip to Europe, I was flummoxed by them.

Ah Sophie! I didn’t realize that the European shower could be so complicated 🙂

Nicely put…i like the MYSTERIOUS EUROPEAN SHOWER 🙂

ahahah Is it a mysterious tool for you too Vicky? 🙂

Hello my name is Daniel I’m a stand-up comedian from Edinburgh Scotland.

Admin note : I removed the link as I don’t allow them in my comments as per my comment policies. If you want to help another user, please leave your email and ask to be contacted directly.

Thank you! Clelia

Pingback: Travel Tip Tuesday: Avoid Long Trips By Bus – Work

Pingback: Travel Tip Tuesday: Avoid Long Trips By Bus - Fastport Passport Blog

I love the way you interpreted other people’s blogs with yours. Not only it is smart for your website but it gives a link to other website giving that person more followers. My blog is about traveling but in my eyes and the events that have happened to me during vacations.

Hey Tailor, thanks! I actually wasn’t thinking about my own website when I wrote this piece. I just loved the stories and wanted to share them all in one place 🙂

Pingback: What Being a Travel Blogger Really Means (To Me). Lessons From My 4 Favorite Bloggers. - KEEP CALM AND TRAVEL

Between last minute visa cancellation and getting stuck in a cave with a cobra I had my fair share of bad experiences, but I can see that I’m in good company! LOL!

Oh, and that announcements are hilarious! Ahahah

Gettin stuck in a cave with a COBRA?! Oh my!! 😀

Your style is very unique in comparison to other folks I’ve read stuff from. Thank you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just bookmark this web site.

Thank you for your kind comment! 🙂

Pingback: Sri Lanka: 8 Days Between Heaven and Hell - KEEP CALM AND TRAVEL

Pingback: When Travel Goes Wrong | Diary Of A Budget Traveller

Pingback: The essence of why we travel in pictures | Travel Eggs App – Your Digital Tour Guide

I thought travel always goes wrong. Maybe that’s just me…

Not always..it depends on how much risk are you willing to take!

Even tho I’m European I can totally relate to European shower trouble 😉 Love this post!

European showers rock! 🙂 glad you liked the post Anna!

Is that a rat? Ewww!

Yes it is! I have to say Earl was very brave to try it 🙂

Funny stories and unforeseen mishaps are always part of traveling. This is what makes it more memorable for us. Despite these, I know we can all say that without these funny stories, your travel wouldn’t be as fun as it was.

Hey Helen, if you have any funny story to add, feel free to do so 🙂

I love funny travel stories – and writing about them. My favourite lately was called the Perils of Potties in Japan – or something like that – featuring a hitech toilet that wouldn’t stop spurting water all over the place.

Hey Anabel, i’ve heard tat Japanese toilets are deadly.. I will search for the article, must be quite something!

I went on a road trip in Iceland in June and absolutely loved it! I would tell people (and did in a blogpost) to register with a free app that alerts search and rescue people if you vanish. Register at http://www.safetravel.is and download the free 112 Iceland app before you go. It could literally save your life – a lot of people wander off and get themselves in bad situations every year but if you use this they will save you from yourself (for free but a hearty donation should be considered if it’s your own fault!).

Thanks for the tip Kay!

Thanks for collect these stories.Will subscribes to get more story from you.

Glad you enjoyed it Louis!

Cool tales. I only travel so I don’t run out of dinner party conversations.. ;P The things that don’t go quite right are often the best stories!

true…people are more interested in the accidents than our amazing travel tales..

Love this blog…the main reason being is as travelers we ALL have something happen during our adventures. Regardless if they are truly bad or bizarre my thoughts on these events turn out to be some of our biggest highlights! These are the stories we will find ourselves repeating to eager ears back home and on the road. Of course they seem devistating as they are happening but we always have to look for the best in these situations and the most positive way out of these awkward moments. Cherish them – One Life, One Planet. @monkeyslick

Hi Evan, Very true…these are the best stories to showcase upon our return home!

We’d got our own funny travel stories following experiences close to home. Here’s one from when we visited a hotel in the south of the island: http://www.puretravel.com/Guide/Travel_writing_competition/Travel_Writing_Competition_2012_Entries_Page2/Cock_and_ball(s) . After reading, you’ll be relieved to discover that there are no photos.

ahah i’m actually pretty relieved yes 🙂

Thought you might be.

I saw your request in our FB group and was sorry I couldn’t contribute any! These are hilarious though; the image of Talon and the old lady cracks me up 😀

Hei Aleah, pity you couldn’t contribute, i was hoping to have a top 20 but was quite difficult!

I appreciate the mention above and link to my post!

My pleasure!…Eating a rat is not something you see everyday for sure!

Thanks for featuring my story Klelia!

These are a great collection of quirky tales.

Great finds! I love these quirky stories and that could well be me trying to figure out how to use that shower!

Yeah some of them are really brilliant, it surprised me that i couldn’t find more of them on the web!Oh and for the shower…even if i’m european, i struggled with it at first too!

Thanks also for including my funny quotes article, they certainly make flying more enjoyable.

As for the Thai massage I can certainly vouch for that. I had a one hour head massage and was screaming pain with every touch. I promise you, never, ever again!

hahaha tell me about the Thai Massage, I totally understand why you don’t want to try again! I also had some quite unpleasant experiences…now I only go for a more relaxing oil massage 🙂

Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollll…when finished barking loudly with laughter, I might share a story or two…

Fire away! You can’t imagine how difficult has been to find these stories around! 🙂

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

• NEW: Submit your Testimonial

Short Funny Travel Stories – Expelliarmus and the Wrong Island

Once when I was traveling through… We are collecting the greatest Funny Travel Stories from the road. Travelers sent us their funniest travel stories when backpacking the world, one laughter at a time!

A good travel story usually includes a big laughter , and that means something has gone terribly wrong and ended up a better way it was supposed to. Or didn’t it?

For more fun stories, take a look on the stories on Netflix and Chill in hostels

Books on Travel Stories

We had a look: there are many beautiful books out there highlighting wonderful travel stories and tails.

Many experienced backpackers claim it is important that you can laugh about and with yourself. And we agree.

Travel plans are not supposed to be working out in every single way.

It adds the flexible part to the travel experience. In fact, it is one of the main experiences when traveling. And when something goes wrong, and a funny travel stories is the result, you will always have a great story to tell.

Read all those great stories around the world. You can instantly share them as well if you enjoy them!

We love funny travel stories! This is why we created this collection of funny travel stories, sent to us by travelers and bloggers all around the world. From wild animals, priests, funny coffee, sand-boarding and more!

Find all 180+ short travel stories here.

Have a good laugh

Coffee Experience With A Cute Sense Of Humor

My days must be started with a cup of coffee. Otherwise, it might be a total mistake and I would feel very depressed for the whole day . As a coffee addict, wherever I go and travel I would love to taste local coffee, and it has become one of my obsessions, to taste different coffee from around the world, enjoying the aroma, acidity, flavor and the packaging. Yes, I mean, I love the way they serve the coffee . Some places have a uniqueness and brilliant way on their coffee culture.

One day in Krabi, Thailand,- while waiting for the rain stopped, I sat at the café facing to the sea and ordered a cup of coffee milk. Some minutes later, what they served on my table, really… really crack me up.  Coffee with milk means coffee plus milk, even funnier, attendant milk in a baby bottle . Well, okay, I’ll take this as a humor as long as it doesn’t serve with human milk… ha ha, Oh please NO !!!

Welcome to the Land of Smiles 🙂

EXPELLIARMUS – Beach Soccer in Lagos, Portugal

“I was with 3 friends in Costa d’Oiro (Lagos, Portugal), and we were playing beach soccer with some students. We said the last goal decides the winner. We were running in a counter-attack, and my best friend was running all by himself towards our empty goal. As I would have never ever reached him, I just yelled from behind “EXPELLIARMUS“ – this Disarming Charm from Harry Potter.

He was laughing so hard that he fell over and actually missed the goal. We lost in the end anyway, but this was by far the funniest moment.“

Read: 17 Solo Travel Stories – From Fears, Lonelyness and the best time of the Life!

Chickens, Goats, and Abba – the bizarre bus through Ethiopia

I always use public transport; I believe it is the best way of getting to know a country. On route from Lake Wenchi to Addis Ababa in Ethiopia I had not only the bumpiest journey of my life but also the most bizarre.

Chickens casually strolling around nibbling on my toes, two goats strapped on the roof, people sitting on my lap meanwhile the driver also acted as a DJ playing only ABBA tunes for 3 hours. Loved it.

Once in Sayulita, Mexico, I told my Life Story to Paco the Dog

Two margaritas, some shots of the bartender’s prized tequila, two veggie tacos, now time to make it back to my tent on the beach.  The day was spent surfing the mild waves of Sayulita, Mexico. My new best friend was a dog I named Paco who waited for me at the door of the bar and yes he liked that leftover veggie taco, there was no saving it for morning, he was insistent.

That night, I found myself telling my life story to Paco . I know he knew what I was talking about, I could tell by the way he looked at me with his big brown eyes.  Next morning he was gone, that afternoon I would find him sitting next to a couple giving them that look of understanding as they sipped on their margaritas talking to him and feeding him chips and guacamole. Had a good laugh.

Heading to Sayulita? Discover the 3 best hostels in Sayulita here.

Just an hour drive from here, there are also the best hostels in Puerto Vallarta to discover.

🧘 Yoga in Mexico : We wrote a detailed guide on cool yoga retreats in Mexico

Monkeys in Costa Rica — Is this monkey a Psychologist?

Day 5 of my Costa Rican trip and I had yet to see a monkey.

I was pretty disappointed… I had heard so much about the monkeys!  We had a rainforest hike scheduled, and I was convinced that today was the day! Throughout the hike, the monkeys taunted me with their howling, but I still couldn’t see them.

As we neared the end of the hike on a hanging bridge, I started to accept that an animal encounter wasn’t in the cards. Then there they were…a large branch with several monkeys hung over us. They were chasing each other, jumping between branches, and for a long moment, two monkeys were directly above me.

One of the monkeys even sat there looking at me, scratching his head as if he was trying to figure me out . It was awesome to see them in their natural surroundings and an experience I’ll never forget.

Read : guide to the best hostels in Costa Rica

This Short Travel Story comes from John, an engineer, avid traveler, and a loving husband, living in San Joaquin Valley of California.

My first Songkran – The biggest Waterfight in the World

One day last year our friends asked us if we would like to meet them in Thailand (we live in Germany) and without hesitation we said “yes!”

The timing was perfect, and we planned the trip around Songkran, a.k.a. the Thai New Year. Songkran is an experience that is so difficult to describe. Imagine being part of the world’s largest water fight , streets packed full of people at all hours, pouring buckets of water on each other and everyone armed with water guns !

Needless to say, my husband, our friends and I relived our childhoods running around Bangkok shooting people with our water guns and remaining drenched day and night. Simply put, it was a BLAST!

Read: Short Adventure Stories from around the World – Machu Picchu to Sandboarding

We learned our lesson in Seville’s bull ring

It was whilst standing staring at the golden sand of the bull ring in the city of Seville, Spain that our sun burnt legs decided that they had had enough for the day and gave up on us.

The remainder of our tour of the site was an informative half hour of agony. The day before we had decided to spend the day sunbathing on a deserted island near Faro, Portugal, and as it was windy we had forgone all sun protection.

The result was clear when we awoke the next day transformed into two lobsters. However, we only had one full day in Seville and were determined to make the most of it.

The beauty of the Alcázar and grandeur of the Cathedral served as a tonic for the pain, not to mention the amazing tapas! It was only towards the end of the day at the bull ring that we were reminded how foolish we had been.  Top tip for Seville: Remember your Sun Cream!

Travelling to Seville and Spain? Then read our guides:

• 3 best hostels in Seville
• best hostels in Spain – with itinerary

Tinos, Mykonos – what does it matter?

After 6 hours on a ferry from Athens to Mykonos , my best friend and I got off the ferry to realize our bus that was supposed to get us wasn’t there. Confused, we walked around to no avail.

We approached an old Greek man and asked: “ Mykonos ?” He replied: “ Oxi, Tinos. ”

We. messed. up.

What do we do? Thank God for Greek police officers! They were SO helpful. They sent us to a nearby travel office, and we were told to take the night ferry to Mykonos. Okay, so what do we do for the afternoon? Food! We went to Palaia Pallada and had the BEST, most authentic Greek food with the sweetest waiters! We then visited Panagia of Tinos. Time to go! But wait, they wouldn’t let us on the ferry because our ticket was for the morning trip. After begging, we got on, and off to Mykonos…again.

5 Star Hostels on the Greek Islands

The Greek islands are a popular travel destination. A paradise for beach lovers, foodies, and cultural explorer. Thanks to the 5 Star Hostels in Greece, there is no compromise anymore. You can stay at the most outstanding Hostels in the world PLUS paradise-like destinations.

The Caveland Santorini is a former winery with a swimming pool and a huge courtyard . And not just that. Here you will actually sleep in caves. Those caves were used to store the wine, plus they were common housing throughout Santorini and the Greek islands.

The famous island of Rhodes is the home of STAY Hostel Rhodes . The STAY Hostel is a full designer hostel with an own in-house bar, bunk-less dorms, and a warm, traditional-modern design. The bar is the soul of the hostel. After a long day exploring Rhodes, you can come back home, and walk with your beach sandy feet to the bar. Did anyone say Cocktail? Make also sure you check out our secret tips for Rhodes , so you can get some insider tips for the island.

I yelled at the Thai Monkeys, but they did not speak Italian

While traveling across Thailand, we arrived in Lopburi, a small city with archaeological sites and monkeys. They are everywhere: in the streets, on the trees, trying to enter the houses and waiting at the platform for the next train to arrive. They are cute, but they are definitely too many.

One day we were walking to the hostel with our bag stuffed with teas and amazing Thai snacks when someone ripped it off… no, it wasn’t someone, it was a monkey showing us its teeth! Suddenly a monkey-gang gathered and shared our food: one took a bottle, one had the snacks. I recall saying loud: “Give food back to me, rude monkeys! ” while Ale was trying to explain to me that monkeys are NOT supposed to speak or understand Italian.

Taxi driver need 3 things: good breaks, good horn, good luck!

One of my all-time favorite countries to travel in is India. If you have ever been, you know that this is one of the craziest countries in the world to drive in.

The streets are crowded, the cars share the road with cows, camels, horses, dogs, bicycles, huge trailers, tuk-tuks, buses and pretty much everything that moves.

The rules: there are no rules. They use their horn for pretty much everything and if you want to drive past someone you just honk your horn and drive around. When we took taxis in the northern parts of the country, I saw my life flash before my eyes every five minutes.

In New Delhi, we had an awesome taxi-driver that drove us around the city for a couple of days. In the world’s second most populous city, you have to be pretty crazy to become a taxi driver. At least that is what we thought sitting in the backseat of his taxi listening to AR Rahman, the Mozart of Madras blasting through the broken speakers whilst dodging cars and cows.

I ask him: “ so what makes a good taxi driver in Delhi? ”

He says: “ a good taxi driver needs three things; good breaks, good horn and good luck! ”

Laughing and smiling after he gave us his words of wisdom, he continued to drive us safely through the streets of New Delhi.

We wrote up a big new guide to the best hostels in Delhi .

We are 100% Independent: Some links on Hostelgeeks are so-called affiliate links. If you decide to book through these links, we earn a small commission at no extra cost to you . Your support allows us to keep producing high-quality, independent content free of influence from hostels or external advertisers. Learn more here . 🙏

✏️ Read our Editorial Guidelines

0, text: error()">

0, text: error(), css: errorCssClass">

Reset your password

Enter your email address or username and we’ll send you a link to reset your password

Check your inbox

An email with a link to reset your password was sent to the email address associated with your account

Provide email

Please enter your email to complete registration

Activate to continue

Your account isn't active yet. We've emailed you an activation link. Please check your inbox and click the link to activate your account

0, text: error" style="display: none;">

0, text: success" style="display: none;">

• Relationships

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here .

• Partnership
• Success stories
• --> -->